Phat to Fabulous!
29 March 2006
Don't be lookin' at me like that, dawg!
So are you ever at the gym and just wonder what people are thinking when they look at you? I know I do, today I was on the treadmill with my mix in and my jam came on, "Chi-Chi Man" by TOK. Here I am singing along silently, "My crew, my dawgs! Set rules, set laws. We represent for di lords of yards, a gal alone a feel up my balls..." Eyes closed rocking my head back and forth hiking away. That's when one eye pops open and I look around wondering, "Who's looking at me?" Most likely no one, but you know that feeling!
I am certain the reason for my personal sense of paranoia comes from the fact that I know what I think when I see other people at the gym. I am always wondering...what in the hell is that lady doing in the plastic suit on the third treadmill upfront? Does that old 60 lb. 90 year old lady have on leggings? Did that smell just come from you? Size 26 neon green capris are not a good look! I know I am going to hell for these thoughts, I have come to accept that. But today...today was a new day for things that I've witnessed at the gym. I got to the gym a little earlier than normal today. I was excited, because for some reason I thought that would mean I would have an easier time at finding a treadmill. WRONG! I dressed and look at one row of the treadmills......FULL, look at the other side and...oh...wait, there's a treadmill open. Its next to a lady who I have seen at the gym before. She always speaks and always looks like she is on a mission. Nothing wrong with that, however today I should have known she was on a special mission when I caught a glimpse of her shadow boxing. Apparently, that was not alarming enough for me, as I just hopped on the treadmill and start to move working it out when I hear, thump...thump...thump...thump! I look over and this chick is booking it on this treadmill, running for her life, if she misses a step at any moment I could see her go flying backwards off of the treadmill. I had to hold everything in me to keep from busting up laughing and landing on my ass my damn self! So I try to look away, I look to the other side of me and there is this young girl who must have also noticed the thumps as well. We are both trying to keep the snickers inside of us. So then she slows down the treadmill. Ok, I think she is going to get off, nope she hops up, grabs her dumbbells that she has in the cup holders, turns around backwards and starts doing squats on the treadmill. WTF! Are you kidding? Ok, well I figure do ya thang! So she then finishes those hops back up and stands sideways on the treadmill, of course facing me, and is kicking one leg up in the air while shuffling to the side. I could go on and on about this workout that continued for sometime, but I will spare you. The only thing I could think was is she really serious? Where did she learn such a workout? What exactly is she training for? Should I be scared? I'm jus' saying, she needs to STOP THAT SHIT!
Who ordered a dose of inspiration?
So I was finishing up my workout on the bikes and I happened to pick up the April 3,2006 issue of People magazine with Princess Di on the cover. So I am paging through nothing new really, they are still probing into Princess Di and Dodi's deaths. Is Nick Lachey dating this girl? Did Angelina and Brad get married? Who's grandma did the Olson twins knock out to get their new clothes? You know the regular stuff. Then I come across an article about one of my favorite singers, Etta James. *singing* At laaaaaaaast, my love has come along, my lonely days are over... The article is about how she is a new woman after losing over 200 lbs. since having gastro-intestinal surgery back in 2001 (I think?) It was a great article, talking about how this was a pivotal point in her life after being ashamed of her 400 lbs. frame for so many years. If you get a chance to pick up this issue, I think it is worth it just for this article. But like LeVar Burton used to say on "Reading Rainbow," but don't just take my word for it!
Anywho, its getting late, my husband is looking at me, like why in the hell is she still on this damn computer. So I am about to hope off of here and get to bed. Holla at ya girl!
I am certain the reason for my personal sense of paranoia comes from the fact that I know what I think when I see other people at the gym. I am always wondering...what in the hell is that lady doing in the plastic suit on the third treadmill upfront? Does that old 60 lb. 90 year old lady have on leggings? Did that smell just come from you? Size 26 neon green capris are not a good look! I know I am going to hell for these thoughts, I have come to accept that. But today...today was a new day for things that I've witnessed at the gym. I got to the gym a little earlier than normal today. I was excited, because for some reason I thought that would mean I would have an easier time at finding a treadmill. WRONG! I dressed and look at one row of the treadmills......FULL, look at the other side and...oh...wait, there's a treadmill open. Its next to a lady who I have seen at the gym before. She always speaks and always looks like she is on a mission. Nothing wrong with that, however today I should have known she was on a special mission when I caught a glimpse of her shadow boxing. Apparently, that was not alarming enough for me, as I just hopped on the treadmill and start to move working it out when I hear, thump...thump...thump...thump! I look over and this chick is booking it on this treadmill, running for her life, if she misses a step at any moment I could see her go flying backwards off of the treadmill. I had to hold everything in me to keep from busting up laughing and landing on my ass my damn self! So I try to look away, I look to the other side of me and there is this young girl who must have also noticed the thumps as well. We are both trying to keep the snickers inside of us. So then she slows down the treadmill. Ok, I think she is going to get off, nope she hops up, grabs her dumbbells that she has in the cup holders, turns around backwards and starts doing squats on the treadmill. WTF! Are you kidding? Ok, well I figure do ya thang! So she then finishes those hops back up and stands sideways on the treadmill, of course facing me, and is kicking one leg up in the air while shuffling to the side. I could go on and on about this workout that continued for sometime, but I will spare you. The only thing I could think was is she really serious? Where did she learn such a workout? What exactly is she training for? Should I be scared? I'm jus' saying, she needs to STOP THAT SHIT!
Who ordered a dose of inspiration?
So I was finishing up my workout on the bikes and I happened to pick up the April 3,2006 issue of People magazine with Princess Di on the cover. So I am paging through nothing new really, they are still probing into Princess Di and Dodi's deaths. Is Nick Lachey dating this girl? Did Angelina and Brad get married? Who's grandma did the Olson twins knock out to get their new clothes? You know the regular stuff. Then I come across an article about one of my favorite singers, Etta James. *singing* At laaaaaaaast, my love has come along, my lonely days are over... The article is about how she is a new woman after losing over 200 lbs. since having gastro-intestinal surgery back in 2001 (I think?) It was a great article, talking about how this was a pivotal point in her life after being ashamed of her 400 lbs. frame for so many years. If you get a chance to pick up this issue, I think it is worth it just for this article. But like LeVar Burton used to say on "Reading Rainbow," but don't just take my word for it!
Anywho, its getting late, my husband is looking at me, like why in the hell is she still on this damn computer. So I am about to hope off of here and get to bed. Holla at ya girl!
Today's Quote:
God must have loved calories because He made so many!
~Unknown
9 Comments:
I understand where you're coming from about the thoughts going in people's (and your) minds at the gym...sometimes, I guilty of the bad thoughts, like "he's got waaaaaaays to go", but who am I to judge like that?
professor - most definitely, I should in no way be in there judging anyone else, but you know what...it sure does make me feel a little bit better knowing there are folks with more issues than me.
Hey Ms No Joke - Thanks for the love! You know that has been my thought now, my friend got to the gym after me last night and was on the treadmill next to this guy I saw when I left last night. He had to be like 100 years old with his ortho-shoes on, khakis and a sweatshirt and he was walking in slow motion. But like you said at least he's doing something! No bed sores for him!
people are funny anyway...your on the treadmil and look to your left and right...and wonder what the hell were you thinking coming out the house like that....good post
Wow...my big behind never goes to the gym no how so I cant really comment too much on this.
BUT the few times I HAVE gone, I was too busy wondering "Why the hell did I wear THIS outfit? I didnt put enough deodorant on this morning. Damn, I wonder what I'm gonna eat tonight".
LOL!!!!
sarccastik - i won't tell you that the scary lady that was doing her routine on the treadmill next to me had on a bright green bandana to match the bright green tank top, that looked racer-back but in the fron with some bright green capri leggings. to put it simple she looked a hot ass mess. but i couldn't even address that for all she was doin' over there! LMAO
my boricua sis - don't be fooled i am that way too, my gym bag comes equipped with extra deoderant, headbands, pony tail holders, lipgloss and a variety of cosmetic essentials to try to assist me in that battle. although i will say i did see a woman there last night spraying her hair with hairspay after she put it up to go work out! WTF!
im just runnin in the park now. i dont wanna go to the gym until i loose enough weigh to wear those sexy gym clothes with the stomach out.
aint that a shame. im working out. to get fine enough to go to the gym and....work out
*rolling my eyes at myself*
kween - i was that way for a minute, then i said bump this, i live in wisconsin it is too freaking cold to be out there calling myself running and i have bad knees. uh-huh they are just going ot have too look at my big behind in all its glory at the gym!
informant - LOL, I don't even want to know what they might be thinking when they see my behind roll in the place!
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