Phat to Fabulous!

I am sure that sounds really bad, but right now I could care less! I am so annoyed. Yesterday I went to the Dell website, to place an order for a battery for my boss's laptop so he has a spare when he travels. So I go out to the site place the order get the confirmation number, that all seemed easy enough. Printed my confirmation and went along my merry way. So I come into work this morning and my voicemail light on my phone is on at my desk. I check my voicemail and I have a message from about 8pm last night (because I would have obviously been sitting at work at that time! The message says, "Ummmm, umm, this is Anne? (like she's asking me who she is.) from Dell computers calling about the order you place today. Please call me back this is wery important for you talk to me, otherwise order to be cancelled. Please call with your billing address and secuwity code." Anne(?) then proceeds to leave me the order number, her phone number and her long a$$ extension number. OK, so after hearing the message I go to call Anne, if that's really her real name, I get a message that says, "Transferring to extension 0-0-0-0-0-0-0." That should have been a sign that this was all going to take a turn for the worst. I hear a couple of beeps and then I get a message that says, "The extension you have dialed is unavailable, please try your call again later." CLICK! I am thinking, WTF! No option for an operator, nothing, just peace out b!tch? So I go back to working, because I am too annoyed at that point to even think about trying to call back again.

So about an hour later, my phone rings, "Hello ma'am, my name is Ivan I am calling about the order you placed with Dell computers yesterday." I am thinking great, I am excited, this person speaks english and everything. Oh, but don't get too excited, how about I didn't hear one more thing from Ivan, freaking line went dead again! CLICK! WTF!

So at this point I am annoyed and don't know what number to call, since Ivan didn't get a chance to tell me his number and Anne, if that's really her name, apparently doesn't exist. So I go to pull up the email with the order and call the number on Dell's site for order information. I call the guy pulls up my order and says, "Ma'am was this an order for a new computer?" If you are looking at the order why are you asking me? Ummm, no not unless you just recently started giving away laptops at $148.16 each and in that case give me 20, because I am taking these b!tches down to the Milwaukee Mall and selling them to Ray-Ray, Man-Man, Big Man and Tito mama n'em right quick! So I hold it in and and say, "No, it was just an order for a secondary battery." He says oh, and continues to type, then he says tht apparently I need to call a different number. Okay, fine.

So I call the new number, get a guy on the phone, he informs me that authorization was received for my credit card, however the order was on hold with their verification department, and that he will need to transfer me to that department. Fine, he transfers me I get a girl on the line who clearly doesn't speak much english, I hear her typing, she grunts three times and then I find myself hearing a familiar voice. It says, "Transferring to extension 0-0-0-0-0-0-0." I hear a couple of beeps and then I get a message that says, "The extension you have dialed is unavailable, please try your call again later." CLICK!

So I call back. Get someone who again tells me I need to speak with the verification department, and he will transfer me. CLICK!

So I call back again, at this point I realize I am at work and I usually try not to get all ghetto fabulous as not to scare away the white people, but they are really making this difficult! I get someone before they can even say anything I say, "I need to speak with someone from your verification department, but before you transfer me can I please have their direct extension, because I have been disconnected four times already and I am just so not in the mood, to continue with this." He gave me the number and then went ahead and transferred me. When I get transferred I get this lady who then looks at the order and begins to say, "Ma'am, I show you need to speak with..." I cut her off before she could even get there, "I said yes, I need to speak with Anne at (I rambled off the phone number) about my order, she's at extension (I rambled off the long a$$ extension number) and my order number is 873440XXX. I am mad that I have now memorized the daggone order number! I said you can transfer me, however I am going to need you to stay on the line to make sure that I get a human being on the other end of this phone before you disconnect yourself. She says, "Well ma'am I don't know if she is at her desk, but I can transfer you and can probably send her an email." Ummm no, you will sit your happy slappy behind on this phone and make sure I get a human being and if not then you will send her an email and tell her to get at me on my time. I don't have time for this $hit lady! At this point I think she begins to think in her mind, this b!tch sounds crazy, maybe I should just do what she says. She asks me to hold, she comes back, "Ma'am, it doesn't seem that she's available." No $hit Sherlock! So she finally says there is an issue with the billing address, I explain to her that I have recently moved offices and I think that the system hasn't yet updated with the new address. I said "I can give you the old address if you want to try to verify with that information." She says "Well no, I don't want that information you need to update that with your bank." I again explain that has been done and she asks me for the same information that is in the freaking computer again and says she will call for authorization she does and comes back and says "Well ma'am you are all set now. Is there anything else I can help you with today?"