Phat to Fabulous!
21 April 2006
Lots to talk about!
So let's get down to the business. This week has been nuts, all of the things that were on my to do list for life with no kids for a week, is still on my list. I didn't get not ne'er one thing done! Ain't that about a blip! Anywhos that's ok, because me and the husband got to go out to eat without having to cut up anyone else's food, and got to hit a movie that had no animated characters, and got to ride in the whip with the windows down and music blaring with the cuss words! So now what! Anyway, I thought I would hit you up with a few updates first, so here we go...
Operation Get Terri a Man!
Well good people we almost had to cancel the operations. The same day I did the post. T was at home chillin' on the front porch when her next door neighbor stopped to profess his undying love for her. We thought we might be in luck, he has all his own teeth, no baby mama drama and his hair is not longer than hers. However, his teeth may still be coming out and growing back as they are his baby teeth, he doesn't have baby mama drama, but his mama might start some drama and he doesn't have a car from this millennium, a huffy maybe, but most def not a car. The child is 13! Apparently, Terri being the nice friendly lady that she is apparently has expressed too much interest in this child by saying hi to him and asking how's school. So much to the point that he deemed it necessary to tell her that he had a crush on her and that he would treat her right! WTF! Terri if we haven't found you a man in 8 years or so then I will let you consider it, you can be in one of those older woman younger man things, but only once he is old enough to drink and all other options have been drained.
Don't fret though good people, T and I did make it to what I think will be our new spot. Texture, the Old Fly Bar, in Milwaukee here on the south side. Thursday is their latin night, they do dance lessons from 8 to 10 and then play salsa, merengue, bachata, reggaeton and hip hop the rest of the night. Seems like they have decent music on the other nights too. I will definitely report back, that may be a place we have some luck finding T a man at!
What the hell!
So I have unfortunately been slacking on my eating lately, party with the kids being out town and the holidays and just a combination of a lot of things. Needless to say I need to get back on the ball with the eating, I have been holding steady luckily and not gaining, but I need to get back to losing! But now here's the strangest thing, even though I am not losing weight I am still losing inches, which I know and understand. But how about I put on one of my favorite pair of capris this morning and these things
have been trying to fall off my butt all day!
***sidenote: So for the past week, we have had this guy on our floor in the building, I call him the cell phone bandit. Everyday he can be found hovering near my cube, talking, rather loudly I might add, on his cell phone. Well the bandit has struck again, he was just here again. He always sounds to be on work related calls, so my first question is why not tell that person to call you at your desk if you get bad reception in the building. WTF! Why are you standing by my desk. Actually, he usually makes his way over here numerous times a day, today its already 2:30 and this is the first I have seen or heard of him. I suppose this is what I get for telling someone it was too quiet at our new office.***
Back to the subject...I mean there are other things that I could complain about I am sure, and I should really be happy, but when you are losing weight doesn't it suck that your old phat clothes don't fit any more but the new fabulous clothes you want don't fit yet. So does that mean that as I lose weight I have to continue to by these new little less phat wardrobes all along the way. Darn it that sucks! I guess I need to invest in some belts.
No Lowrider for me!
So I am a little disappointed, but the husband and I have decided against driving to Indy for the Lowrider Magazine Car Show. First, most of the people we were going to go with aren't going, including the president of his car club chapter. Second, his car isn't going to be done in time, its still being worked on. Third, gas prices are fucking ridiculous! So if anyone else out there in Blogland makes it I hope they post pics so I can drool over them!
What sucks even more is that with us not leaving to head to Indy, that means that our time without children is shortened. They are supposed to get back tomorrow and we were initially supposed to be gone so they were going to hang with grandma and titi until we made it back. Now that we aren't going anywhere, that means the kiddies will be back at the crib tomorrow. Don't get me wrong I will love seeing my babies again, but that means I can only play footloose and fancy free for a short while longer! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!
Am I am Under-Achieving Parent?
So there are many times that I am so proud to boast that my 5 year old has been in Ballet and Tap for 3 years and speaks German, or that my 2 year old can count to 10 and sing her abc's and Don't Cha by the Pussycat Dolls (don't ask). But was I suppose to enroll them for classes at the Wisconsin Conservatory of Music and no one told me? WTF! Go here and you will see what I am talking about.
Preparation is underway!
So time has come for the annual bday cookout. One of my husband's friends and I share the same birthday although he is considerably older than my young self, but for the past couple of years we have a cookout at his crib and do it grown folks style. Throw some stuff on the grill, get some dranky drank, turn up some music clear, out the living room furniture, you know straight up house party! Well once again its on. Need to start putting my shopping list together now, next Saturday is the big day and that's not far away!
Aiight folks, I need to get out of here, I have to handle my clubbing for my final night of freedom, so I need to get some work done so I can get out of here on time today. If you are in Milwaukee, check out that party at Questions. I posted the flyer earlier today. I might have to roll through there for a minute. Until next time....you know what to do, holla at ya girl!
Operation Get Terri a Man!
Well good people we almost had to cancel the operations. The same day I did the post. T was at home chillin' on the front porch when her next door neighbor stopped to profess his undying love for her. We thought we might be in luck, he has all his own teeth, no baby mama drama and his hair is not longer than hers. However, his teeth may still be coming out and growing back as they are his baby teeth, he doesn't have baby mama drama, but his mama might start some drama and he doesn't have a car from this millennium, a huffy maybe, but most def not a car. The child is 13! Apparently, Terri being the nice friendly lady that she is apparently has expressed too much interest in this child by saying hi to him and asking how's school. So much to the point that he deemed it necessary to tell her that he had a crush on her and that he would treat her right! WTF! Terri if we haven't found you a man in 8 years or so then I will let you consider it, you can be in one of those older woman younger man things, but only once he is old enough to drink and all other options have been drained.
Don't fret though good people, T and I did make it to what I think will be our new spot. Texture, the Old Fly Bar, in Milwaukee here on the south side. Thursday is their latin night, they do dance lessons from 8 to 10 and then play salsa, merengue, bachata, reggaeton and hip hop the rest of the night. Seems like they have decent music on the other nights too. I will definitely report back, that may be a place we have some luck finding T a man at!
What the hell!
So I have unfortunately been slacking on my eating lately, party with the kids being out town and the holidays and just a combination of a lot of things. Needless to say I need to get back on the ball with the eating, I have been holding steady luckily and not gaining, but I need to get back to losing! But now here's the strangest thing, even though I am not losing weight I am still losing inches, which I know and understand. But how about I put on one of my favorite pair of capris this morning and these things
have been trying to fall off my butt all day!***sidenote: So for the past week, we have had this guy on our floor in the building, I call him the cell phone bandit. Everyday he can be found hovering near my cube, talking, rather loudly I might add, on his cell phone. Well the bandit has struck again, he was just here again. He always sounds to be on work related calls, so my first question is why not tell that person to call you at your desk if you get bad reception in the building. WTF! Why are you standing by my desk. Actually, he usually makes his way over here numerous times a day, today its already 2:30 and this is the first I have seen or heard of him. I suppose this is what I get for telling someone it was too quiet at our new office.***
Back to the subject...I mean there are other things that I could complain about I am sure, and I should really be happy, but when you are losing weight doesn't it suck that your old phat clothes don't fit any more but the new fabulous clothes you want don't fit yet. So does that mean that as I lose weight I have to continue to by these new little less phat wardrobes all along the way. Darn it that sucks! I guess I need to invest in some belts.
No Lowrider for me!
So I am a little disappointed, but the husband and I have decided against driving to Indy for the Lowrider Magazine Car Show. First, most of the people we were going to go with aren't going, including the president of his car club chapter. Second, his car isn't going to be done in time, its still being worked on. Third, gas prices are fucking ridiculous! So if anyone else out there in Blogland makes it I hope they post pics so I can drool over them!
What sucks even more is that with us not leaving to head to Indy, that means that our time without children is shortened. They are supposed to get back tomorrow and we were initially supposed to be gone so they were going to hang with grandma and titi until we made it back. Now that we aren't going anywhere, that means the kiddies will be back at the crib tomorrow. Don't get me wrong I will love seeing my babies again, but that means I can only play footloose and fancy free for a short while longer! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!
Am I am Under-Achieving Parent?
So there are many times that I am so proud to boast that my 5 year old has been in Ballet and Tap for 3 years and speaks German, or that my 2 year old can count to 10 and sing her abc's and Don't Cha by the Pussycat Dolls (don't ask). But was I suppose to enroll them for classes at the Wisconsin Conservatory of Music and no one told me? WTF! Go here and you will see what I am talking about.
Preparation is underway!
So time has come for the annual bday cookout. One of my husband's friends and I share the same birthday although he is considerably older than my young self, but for the past couple of years we have a cookout at his crib and do it grown folks style. Throw some stuff on the grill, get some dranky drank, turn up some music clear, out the living room furniture, you know straight up house party! Well once again its on. Need to start putting my shopping list together now, next Saturday is the big day and that's not far away!
Aiight folks, I need to get out of here, I have to handle my clubbing for my final night of freedom, so I need to get some work done so I can get out of here on time today. If you are in Milwaukee, check out that party at Questions. I posted the flyer earlier today. I might have to roll through there for a minute. Until next time....you know what to do, holla at ya girl!Today's Quote:
My goal is to weigh what my drivers license says!
~Unknown
8 Comments:
Girl I'm tryna come to the cookout. What should I bring?
You and your hubby get AWWWN wit ya bad selves!
Also, that clown will haunt my dreams.
@liquor & tv - hahahah! come on through girl, the more the merrier! bring ya self, that's all ya need!
@idle - hahahah! the kids are back, can i send them to you? ugh! sorry about the clown nightmares.
@shenehneh - the bad thing about that quote, oh how true it is! lol
i have not even purchased any booty shorts, those were packed up and shipped off to some single booty girl long ago!
As always, my friend, I have you covered.
Cell Phone Bandit: This depends on 2 things: The height of your cubicle and the distance of his desk from yours (also assuming that his bin is in your area. Here's what you do. If you have the classic "prairie dog" cubicle and he is within arms length, then just get up, yawn, and stretch tapping him in the head. Most of this is dependant on how close he is to you and whether you can see him in front or behind you.
Or you could do my personal favorite. Rise up slowly like Snoop in Half Baked, grab his phone and Shot Put it into his cubicle, adjusting air speed, floor traffic, and upward vocal rafts from surrounding cubicles. Even though a cell phone is heavy, you DON'T want a downward draft to mess up your trajectory, thereby possible smacking someone in the dome or eye. In other words, know the lay of the land. If you do it fast enough, and do hit someone, you can duck into your hole and whoever gets clocked, sees him. He might deny it, but chance is with you, provided your surrounding cubes. There is another way similiar to this. We call this, The Campbell method(or Naomi for verbage sake). This just means that your target would be him instead of his cube(or nearest big wastebasket). This could back fire if said person is of a management type. But since your work is what it is, I think you can smooth that one out.
Operation Terri: This brings up an interesting point. What is her dating range? Everyone has one. I'm married, but mine was 2 years younger, 5 years older. Unfortunately, that never stuck in practice(especially now), but it's acceptable goal to shoot for to. It's a gauge to check against what you would want to deal with.
Bday BBQ: Where's my damned invite??? I see how you're gonna be? :) Anyway, didn't they make an movie out of you last event?
@tigerkiss - do i need to start a operation find tiger a man too? lol
@rodney - see i can always count on you for informative well thought out solutions to my problems, i am leaning more toward the naomi resolution process, i will let you know how that turns out! lol!
didn't you get your invite to the cookout? i can send it to you, what time do you think you flight will get in? lol
Flight? In the famous words of Ghostface killah, "My G is too futurist". I'm working on transporter technology. I haven't perfected it yet. Anyway, what will you have for a non pork eating person?
Oh, if you're going to Naomi him, aim for the neck. He can't yell if he can't talk.
@rodney - there will be plenty for the non pork eating person, because i don't touch the swine! lips that touch swine shall never touch mine, we that's not true, my husband can eat a pig from the roota to the toota! (i just like that line)
thanks for the advice! ;)
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