Phat to Fabulous!

So your girl is back, I think I am done recovering from my long weekend of birthday festivities. Do I feel another year wiser? Hmmm well not really since at least one night this weekend ended with me with my head in a garbage bag by the side of my bed. Do I feel another year older? Hellmuthafreakinyeah, I am getting too old for this shit!

So when we last left the L, it was Tuesday. Well last week at work was a monster. Lots of stuff going on keeping me busy and J came with me to work for "Bring Your Kid To Work" Day. She kept me busy, drawing pictures and introducing her to people and taking her to lunch. But at the end of the day she said "Mom, I didn't get bored not once today!" That was a feat, because I already had a plan in place that if she began to whine and get bored that since it was dad's day off, we would be calling him in for a rescue and recovery mission. But we aborted that plan as she found plenty to do. She found a drawer I had of promotional materials, t-shirts and notepads, so she ransacked that drawer. Plus, she had a strange infatuation with the 3-hole punch. Whatever works I guess. Having J at work with me on Thursday made Wednesday and Friday that much more busy and Friday I worked from home in celebration of my day, and because I was lazy and didn't feel like attempting to get dressed until I damn well pleased!

Martinis, anyone?
So Friday night, the ladies and I had one of our Ladies Night Out in celebration of my bday! The plan, meet up for martinis at this spot here in Milwaukee that has $5 martinis on Fridays. Its great the entire martini menu $5! Flirtinis all day long boy! So we met up there had a few appetizer, and I look out the window and see my guy who's birthday party we had gone to the weekend before, he sees us and comes in to tell us that they are on their way to a club where they are meeting up with some folks from high school. The club they are going to is closer to home than where we were initially going to go and they are having hip hop night in the martini bar. Sounds like something I can handle. We pay our bill and head over that way. We get there and walk in I order my Hen and Red Bull and sit back and relax. 6 or 7 tall Hen and Red Bulls later (more Hen than Red Bull), I am on the dance floor getting my groove on inviting my new friend, "White Girl Kym," with the cool ass tattoos to my cookout the next evening and exchanging phone numbers with her. WTF? My babysitters for the night are fired, although the girl did seem cool. "White Girl Kym" and I may have set up dates to go get new tattoos also, but I am not completely sure of that. Anywho needless to say I had fun, I made it home managed to get my contacts out, find the bed and a plastic bag to keep next to my head and went to sleep. Note to the youngins: A real lady never throws up in public and I am a fuckin' lady!

*singing* Go L, it's ya birthday, Go L, it's ya birthday! (Luke style, fuck 50!)
Saturday arrives, feeling like crap I get up get the girls situated and get out the house to make it to Sam's Club to meet Nicole (the one with the Sam's membership) and Kevin (the other birthday boy) to get stuff for the cookout. Mind you the weather man is reporting rain, screw them ain't no rain drops going to stop my bday! We come out of Sam's Club $360 later with enough food and alcohol to throw down for real! I leave there head out for my taxi mom duties, getting Jordan to ballet, then I have to drop food off to my guys house, where we are having the cookout, while she is in class. I go back get J from class, rush home to meet my mother in law who is taking her to go bowling, one kid down one to go. I feed Kennedy, get her down for a nap and try to start getting ready. I pull out the clothes to try to decide what look I am going for today, am I going for the cute girly look, am I doing the old faithful jeans and a t-shirt or am I going old school, Adidas jogging suit and shell toes. I opted for old school and donned the Adidas jogging suit with the shell toes. Put on some face did the hurh and got the girls an overnight bag packed. When Kennedy got up I changed her and got her ready so when Jordan got home we could rush right out and get to my mom's house so that I could drop them off.

Its four o'clock and I replay in my mind to make sure I have done all that I need to do before heading over to the spot to start making sure stuff is set over there. Kids dropped off, check. Shopping done, check. Alcohol purchased, check. Last minute calls and invites done, check. Looking freshazimiz, check. Alright, time to head to the east my brother to the east! I get there the food is going the game is on music is already popping. Time to do the damn thang. And oh did we, we had food spread across two tables, and friends all around we had a good time. I gots me a bottle of Hennessey and a Cohiba for presents, no I don't smoke, those are for special occasions only. Someone realized after the gathering got going that no one had gotten a birthday cake and all of a sudden I see someone walking behind Kevin and I with a plate and candles coming out of them. They sent someone to the liquor store to get some candles, and whatever they could find, so the only thing the liquor store apparently had were some Little Debbie's Brownies, so they come in with 2 LD Brownies with candles stuck in them. It was hilarious, I decided that in order to stay on my path to a thinner me that I would be completely unselfish and share my cake with everyone. So I proceeded to cut it into little itty bitty pieces and offer it to everyone. No, I wasn't drunk ask any of my friends this is normal behavior for me. I was being generous shit, last time I do that! lol Anyway the last of the crowd finally cleared out at about 12:30-1 am and the husband and I made our way home and pretty literally pass out!

OH SHIT!
So the husband and I awaken on a rainy Sunday morning and almost sit straight up in the bed, how in the hell was it 10 am already? My mom hadn't called cussing talking about come and get your kids yet, and he had football practice in 1 hour on the other side of town. So we get situated, he heads to practice, I head to go get the kids. Pick them up from my mom who is about ready to toss them out the front door, especially the little one. I get the girls and we go to the grocery store to buy stuff to make cupcakes. Jordan's birthday is 2 days after mine so on Monday she had to take a treat to school. Anyone that knows me I don't cook, I don't bake, I pretty much don't do any of the domestic shit that a mom really should. Never the less I attempted to bake. 35 cupcakes and 1 cake later...this is what we had!

Not half bad for an amateur, huh? I am posting pictures, because anyone who knows me would not believe this without proof.

So after hard slaving over a stove, yesterday was my oldest's 6th bday. Wow how big she is getting! Happy Birthday baby!