Phat to Fabulous!

So some of you may remember some time ago when I decided that I hated the entire country of India due to a bad experience with the idiots at Dell. Well today is no different. I get to work and can't get into Outlook. Mind you this has become an everday battle for me, why should today be any different. Now, pretty much everything I do in my job requires me to have access to my Outlook. I think I have already quit about 20 times this morning and I haven't been here an hour yet. So after about the thirtieth time of getting this rather undescript error message, I finally decide to call the helpless desk, as I like to refer to them. Now upon first calling the help desk, you are lead to think that just maybe you will speak to someone that might actually be located in the US that actually speaks English, because you get this friendly voice of a woman who says, "Thank you for calling the [insert company name] helpdesk. Please listen to the following options carefully as the menu may have changed." Now they say this everytime I call, no matter how often I call this broad seems to think the menu MAY have changed, either it has or it hasn't and as she lives in the menu, shouldn't she know if someone has been in there messing with things? You would think! Anyway, so I listen to the menu, none of the options say "If your email is fucked up and you can't do any gotdang work until we get off of our lazy asses and fix it," so I opt for pressing 9, which indicates for all other callers, I guess that's me. So this is where my hope appears to be fading, I get another hold message this time a lady who speaks English and uses the correct words, but sounds like she may really not be Valerie, but more a Vipin Chib! Catch my drift! So I then, am put on hold, now this is further than I have gotten on other days where I haven't even gotten the very American sounding woman at the beginning of the menu, there is a message that more often says, "Yes, we know the system is fucked up, stop calling us so we can pretend to give 2 damns and try to do something about it!" So I figure well maybe I will get somewhere with this today. Finally, I can tell the line has connected and I hear "Thank you for calling the [insert company name] helpdesk, may I pwease have your empwoyee number?" I give him that, he says, "and am I speaking with George?" Now this is not the first time this has happened to me. I don't know who George is or if his number is very similar to mine, but I struggle to keep from saying, "Muthafucka do I sound like a George?" We go back and forth he finally gets it that I am not George, I tell him I can't get into my email, and his response, "Yes ma'am (I hate when people call me ma'am), the serwers are down right at the moment, wet me just check to see which serwer you are on. (I wait, he comes back to the phone.) Yes, ma'am (I hate that fucking word) the serwer that you are on is curwently down. All teams are curwently working on this and there is no ETA." I am pretty sure when he put me on hold he went to go grab his script, so he could make sure to say exactly what the people wanted him to say. Why is there never an ETA when I call the helpless desk? And who are these teams that are working on it? Where are they? Is it Ray-Ray and 'nem that I saw chillin' in the cafeteria, because if so my faith is dwindling. Ooooh, why me! Anyway an hour later, I finally got into my email and awaiting me was an email from the helpless desk asking me to rate my Case...my mama always said if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I deleted the email.

So I needed some motivation and a kick in the ass...
I have enlisted the help of someone that has been through what I am going through with this weight loss thing. I was reading my regular dailies yesterday and thanks to some hater out there in blogland, Bklyndiva was obliged to post a few before and after pics of herself. That girl is definitely doing the damn thang. She looks like a completely different person. So I sent her an email and asked her for some advice and she was so kind as to ask me a few questions and give me a few pointers. She is going to be my buddy to give me a swift kick in the ass when I need it, which hopefully won't be as often as I could have used one over the past few weeks. I will keep you posted.

Paris Bennett is gone!
That little 17 year old girl has some pipes and America voted her off! I personally am ti-red of Katherine McPhee and I am ready for her ass to go home. I think Katherine's second song on Tuesday saved her, because her first one was horrendous. Paris did the damn thing though with that Mary J. song. My 6 year old was at the table rocking back and forth singing along like she was on stage. I was too upset when Elliott and Paris were the 2 in the bottom, because those are my two favorites. I can't get too upset about it though, for one I fell asleep before I got a chance to vote for either of them and second, Paris is going to end up on someone's record label somewhere regardless. Au revoir, Paris!

I gots to do me some work...
Not that I really want to, but there are some people here who think that I come to work to work! I don't know what the fuck their problem is, but I figure I will go ahead and appease them so that they can stop showing up at my desk asking me questions like I am supposed to know the answers or something. I mean usually I do, but why would they just assume some shit like that, you know? I'm out, y'all, holla at ya girl!