Phat to Fabulous!

So I am really not sure how I missed posting this. But congrats to my boys down in MIA on winning this years playoffs. It was great to see fellow Marquette Alumni Dwayne Wade take home that MVP honor. *Reminiscing* I think I recall me and my girl Kye whooping him in some spades once or twice back in the day as we liked to make it a habit of disgracing basketball players with their lack of skills as the card table often! Oh the good old days!


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Cali update...
So I figured I would update y'all on some of my fun while I was in Cali. Somehow we have one celeb encounter each year when we go to California. Last time we saw 'Uncle Phil' from the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire driving down the 405 next to us. This time when we were waiting to board our plane on the way home one of the airport security people, randomly walks up to my husband to tell him, "Man, Kobe down there in the elevator, I'm trying to get him to come off." Now why this man chose my husband out of all the people he walked past to approach him I am not sure. In all honesty, neither my husband nor myself are big Kobe fans. Don't get me started on my true disgust for him. But I digress, so we are standing there and then all of a sudden he and his wife come walking out of the elevator and head to board a Virgin Atlantic flight to somewhere. He looked like, well, Kobe. She looked pretty and she is still post-baby thick, if you can really say that since she was 2 lbs. to begin with, but she definitely did not shed her pounds by breathing like Mrs. Shaq aka Shaunie did. Considering I wasn't that ecstatic to see Kobe we didn't do the stalker paparazzi thing and try to run up and snap his pic. I will say he had on some horrible white frame sunglasses. Boo to that look.

Moving on, I told y'all I had some family drama for you. So I haven't really shared much about my relationship with my dad in the past. But just for a little background. My parents divorced when I was 3 years old. If it weren't for my grandmother I would have probably had no communication with my father at all when I was younger, oh how I miss her. My dad was a slacker, didn't really pay much in child support, still owes to this day, but I don't bother to try to collect. Instead, since my dad feels the need to play baller, I just take him up on whatever offers he throws out there, such as my free family trip to California every year. My relationship with my father over the years has been strained to say the least. I grew up figuring if I didn't count on him for anything I would be pleasantly surprised if he ever held true on any of his promises. That tended to work out best. I was fortunate to have a mother who never bad talked my dad in front of me. She let me make my own opinions of him based solely on his actions towards me. Therefore, I affectionately deemed him the sperm donor when I was about 13 years old. When my husband and I got married my mom had seen on some show where the bride's dad walked her partly down the aisle and her stepdad walked her the rest of the way down, to symbolize the the role that each man had in her life. I played along and we did that at my wedding, however I kindly told my mother that if this were to realistically portray my dad's role in my life, he wouldn't have made it past the back two pews of the church. Anyway, things are a little bit better, although I can usually only take him in small doses. He talks about me to his friends like I am his golden child and like we have this great relationship and most of the time all it does is anger me, because I feel like he has no clue about the real me. Ok, this is not what this post was supposed to be about, but I just wanted to give you some background. Needless to say, this trip is both good and bad each year. Good, because I can get away from work and everything else. Bad, because there is no telling what a week with my father can bring.

We got to California on Wednesday and had previously been warned by my dad and his wife, that they both were off that day but they had to work the rest of the week through Saturday so we would pretty much be on our own the first few days. A relief to me personally. So Thursday morning I am like the first person up in the house, since my body is still on MKE time and I still have to do a little work. My dad comes out ready to head to work and hands me the key to his little ass beater 1989 BMW and says in case we need to use the car. Now let me just tell you this, last summer my dad wanted to pretend to be a baller (what's new?) and buy a Armada, so that when we come out we don't always have to take two cars everywhere. Now he also has a '04 Mercedes Benz 745, he was driving the Benz to work since he works about 45 miles from his house and he says my stepmom is driving the Armada. Leaving my husband, the girls, my two brothers and myself the BMW. Which then would mean we are stuck in the house since there was no way in hell 6 people are fitting in that little ass BMW!!! I looked at him and said well wouldn't it make more since for me to take my step mom to work since she works just up the street or she could drive the BMW to work so that we can actually leave the house at some point. His response, "Well yeah you would need to take her to work, because I don't want her to drive the BMW because the tire is low." WTF???? So you will let your daughter and your two grandkids, drive the death trap, but not your wife? Ummm yeah thanks, idiot! I tried to restrain myself, instead I walked downstairs, at 8am mind you and poured myself a OJ and rum! And, what? I was on vacation! At that moment I knew there was lot of drinking to be done on this trip. Through Saturday was for the most part uneventful since I didn't have to deal with dad or stepmom (who, did I mention switches her wigs multiple times a day...don't ask). Saturday the husband, one of my brothers, his girlfriend, the kids and I met my cousin and her boyfriend for a trip to Universal Studios. That was fun, the kids enjoyed themselves and were pooped out by the time we left the park. Just the way I like it!

Sunday...Sunday...Sunday!
So Sunday morning we get up its father's day. My stepmom told me the night before we were trying to be at the mall by 11am (why she wouldn't tell me what for, I am not sure) then we were going to go to brunch and then out to my dad's boat (I told y'all he pretends to be a baller). So I get up, get the fam ready, pack up bags to get to the boat. My stepmom in the midst of rushing says oh yeah we are going to take a family pic since we can never get everyone together. OK, family pic? There is no color scheme to anyone's clothes, I am a coordinated family pic type of person myself. Can't we all get some R.I.P. Pookie t-shirts or something? The same colors something. Oh well, also, one of my brothers had to work on Sunday so he isn't there. My stepmom says oh we might try to add him to the pic later! WTF???? Anyway, by the time my dad, his wife, my brother, his girlfriend and my whole family were all ready to roll out of the house it was 11:15am, pic appt was at 11! We can't do shit on time! We get in the car, I ask my dad if anyone called to let them know we were running late, his response..."They know now." No shit Sherlock! Damn I am going to need a mimosa or two or ten at brunch! We get to the place take pics, they review and select and we are ready to head out the door and to brunch in perfect time at 12:30pm. They wanted to be at brunch at about 1pm. This is the first thing we are going to do on time the whole trip! We get in the car hop on the freeway to head to brunch. We are rolling on the freeway and all of a sudden my dad's new Armada just shuts off! WTF! Are you fucking kidding me? Mind you we are going 80 in the carpool lane. We finally get over to the side of the freeway, he tries to restart it nothing, tries again, nothing! Ummmm, did anyone else notice we are in the middle of the fucking desert and its 90 degrees outside and I was looking too cute to get eaten up by any random desert creatures! So this is the point at which my dad tells my stepmom, more like orders her to call Nissan. What does she do, she calls the dealership. Umm yeah how about roadside assistance. She says she was trying to see if they knew why it stalled. He fusses at her, she takes the shit (that annoys the hell out of me), she calls the roadside assistance people and is trying to explain to them what happened and where we are. All the while my dad is barking that what she is saying is incorrect or whatever...umm here's an idea, if she is not telling them right how about you take the fucking phone and tell them yourself. Like my mama says that would have been too much like doing right! So after an hour of this malarchy, they finally get someone who says that they will get them a tow but that the truck can only take 2 people back with it. Well that's great but we have 8 people in the car, including the 2 year old and 6 year old and L ain't about to be standing on the side of anybodies freeway in her 3-inch snake skin pumps! So my dad calls all his buddies and finally suckers one of them to come out and get everyone else. the tow truck and the friend get there at about the same time. I hop in the friends car thinking, hell I can go home and get me a sammich while they figure out the whole car situation, because a sistah is hongry! How about my dad tells his friend that everyone is going to the dealership. I ask my dad why he says well I don't want everyone on different sides of town. Ummmm, your town ain't that big buddy! Deep breath, hold it in, its father's day! So we go to the dealership, they turn the key, yep you guessed it the damn truck starts right up. Not once, but twice! So my dad and the man from the dealership go out for a ride, yep it dies on them while they are out. So not the issue is none of the car rental places that the dealership uses are open on Sunday. Just so you know by now it is 4pm no one has eaten and we have been through all the fruit snacks in Kennedy's back pack and raided the vending machine at the dealership. So the man at the dealership is trying to see what he can do to get the 8 angry, hungry black people out his dealership as quickly as possible. So he finally comes back and says they are going to give us a loaner truck from the dealership until we can get a rental in the morning. They give us an Excursion which was nice and roomy, but smelled like ASS! I suppose at this point beggers can't be choosers. So it is now 5pm, we have been out of the house since 11:15 and I have yet to eat. Hunger + Heat + L with melting makeup = PURE BITCH!

So we finally leave the dealership, and decide that we still need food, Dad says let's go to Famous Dave's, now I am dressed for brunch a little over made for Famous Dave's barbecue, but again its father's day if that's what you want fine. We go my stepmom runs in, ooh 2 to 3 hour wait. Yeah no that's not happening. My dad decides we are going to M&M's (if you don't know M&M's is a pretty famous Soul Food restaurant chain out in California). We get there, get a table and peruse the menus. Now I am weird, I know, I don't really do the soul food thing. I don't do greens, I don't do smother nothing, I don't do gravy, I don't do chitterlings, I don't do black eyed peas, I don't do dark meat chicken, I don't do much and on a hungry stomach I am not in the mood to experiment. So I look at the back and I see they have burgers. So the waitress comes warns everyone that friend chicken is going to be like a 20-30 minute wait. Good thing I decided on the burger since that was my other option. So she looks at me to order, I order a burger, she looks at me and says, "We don't have those on Sundays." I just looked at her in sheer disgust. What do you mean you don't have burgers on Sundays? What do you have against a burger? And now what am I going to eat since friend chicken is going to take so long. I order for the girls and tell her to come back to me, she could tell I was annoyed. She gets back to me, I had decided I would get the baked chicken, since I didn't want to have to wait for the friend chicken and this was probably better for me anyways, with mashed potatoes with no gravy (I don't do gravy) and mac'n'cheese (that I would probably not eat, but would most likely give to the hubby and kids). So she finishes up and my brother's girlfriend looks at me and says you know your dad and his wife ordered fried chicken right? WTF? If I had realized we were going to have to wait for their food, I may as well have ordered it too! By now its 6, I am annoyed that we are not back at the house to watch the game and have to watch it on this little ass tv in this restaurant. We get our cornbread and drinks and the waitress returns to tell me that they are out of mashed potatoes! OK, who is messing with me today! Are you kidding? So I ask if I can just get fries, she says she will check and never returns, I guess that is a yes? So now it is 6:45 food is coming out, I get the kids situated she brings my sides and I am still waiting on my chicken and she comes out, "Baked chicken white meat!" Yep that's me, she sits it in front of me and how about it is covered in gravy! A sistah was hot. Just take me to fucking McDonald's! I ate the fries, passed the mac'n'cheese to the husband and tried to scrape the gravy off to get a bit of chicken, I was so annoyed by the time this day was over it wasn't even funny. Needless to say me and E&J were best friends that evening.

Due to all of the activities of the day, my dad had decided we would go the boat the next morning. We did, that was an adventure in and of it self that I don't have the energy to share right now. I will try to post that extravaganza this weekend.

Let me get off of here. I haven't done a lot of work today, I have been reading up on Oprah's Debt Diet, because I am tired of being depressed about money and stuff. I will let you know if I follow the cult leader's advice and how that works out. Actually the plan looks pretty good, the question is can we stick to it? Hmmm, I guess only time will tell.

Busy weekend ahead, the husband has his first football game when the Milwaukee Venom head up against the Muskego Hitmen on Sunday at 5pm! Go #95!



Alright people I am out. Have a great weekend, and you know what to do....holla at ya girl!

Today's pic: (I am so getting this shirt for Caribana!)