Phat to Fabulous!
11 July 2006
Random stuff I just need to get out!
1. I need a bedtime! Remember when you were 8 and had to go to bed at 8:30 and you used to be annoyed because you knew that the bad butt kids at school who's mama's went clubbing every Wednesday through Sunday could stay up as late as they wanted. Damn me for having a responsible mama! I have rediscovered the importance of a bed time. I can't for the life of me get my butt out of bed to get back to the gym in the morning. I have decided after the news it is my bedtime! I'll let y'all know how that works out.
2. Warning! Warning! Eating a whole bunch of sunflower seeds will make your tongue numb. Trust me I speak from experience. Please see the pic the the right, no good I tell you people. I am doing my civic duty and warning you so that what has happened to me does not happen to any of you. Its not a good feeling. Its not my fault though, those damned things are addictive!
3. Do I appear to be missing any meals? I think not! Than why do the people at work always feel the need to force you to take leftover wraps, sandwiches, chips, sodas or cookies every time there are leftovers from some big wigs meeting. What part of I don't need 2 lunches today don't you understand people. I am a big girl, there is nothing about me that should be screaming, "Damn I look hungry!"
4. Why am I so tired? Its not like I got up off my lazy ass and went to the gym this morning or anything!
5. Why isn't it time to go home yet? Do you ever have one of those days where you have a list of stuff you need to accomplish, but you don't feel like doing any of it? Welcome to my day good people!
6. Lazy Sanitation Department! So I went to my parents house on Sunday to water their plants because they were out of town. I pull up to their house and in the middle of the street right in front of their driveway is a dead huge nasty ass lookin' raccoon. His face was all nasty and smashed in. Why did I submit a request to the sanitation department to have it picked up and got a notice back that my request will be completed within 10 days. WTF! Do you know what happens to a dead animal over 10 days! I have to pick up my parents tonight from the airport, as I pull up their driveway I will just announce to them "WELCOME HOME!"
7. What's wrong with my child? So last night my 2-year old was apparently pissed off at me for not cooking dinner fast enough, how about this little nut decided that out of anger it was a good idea to bite her own damn finger! She comes to me crying, I am trying to figure out what is wrong with her trying to calm her down and she's waving her finger at me. My oldest walks in to tell me that her sister had bit herself on the finger. I asked her if that's what happened, she screams, "YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!" I proceeded to ask her why she did it, she stopped crying a bit and her face had a rather confused look on it when she then said, "I don't know." Got up and walked away! Only my children!
8. What did he ever do to you? So my co-worker was telling me yesterday about how her roommate caught a mouse that they had in their condo on one of those sticky safe traps. She was home alone and heard this loud high pitched yelping noise and couldn't figure out for the life of her what the noise was. She went in the kitchen and what did she find but a mouse trapped on the sticky pad. (Background on this chick, she is one of those overly sensitive, be kind to animal types.) So she couldn't figure out what to do and how to get the mouse off of this pad. So she called her mom, by now completely sobbing out of pity for the mouse on the phone to her mom, to ask her what to do. Her mom calmly told her that the smartest thing to do since she couldn't seem to get the mouse off would be to put him out of his misery. Well she said she didn't want the mouse to suffer, so she didn't just put it in the garbage and let it starve to death and die. She wanted it to have a quick and "painless" death. So what did she do. She took the mouse on the sticky pad and placed it in the middle of the street. Then she proceeded to get in her car, tears streaming down her face and roll over the mouse repeatedly. Apparently this was better than just whacking the shit out of it with a broom! I couldn't help myself but to bust out laughing. This is why when we get field mice from our backyard, my plan, kill that mutha fucker, he knew better than to be all up in my house in the first place. If he wanted to live he should have kept his butt outside.
9. Why did I voluntarily babysit an almost 6-month old baby last night? I have said repeatedly that I don't like other people's kids. I guess I was doing my good deed for the day, or week, or year, or hell for my life! L's brat sitting service is now closed for business!
10. Why do I have to go to Connecticut for business next week? Why can't I go somewhere interesting? Darn it! Figures send me to CT! Anyone know any good restaurants or stuff I might be able to do on my free night in CT. Anyone out that way? Holla at me!
Whew! I feel so much better I just had to get that stuff off of my chest today! So last week I was so excited to make it back to Summerfest, well yeah how about that didn't happen. Long story, but oh well. Either way, my friend, Shelvey, still followed through with good pics of Anthony Hamilton and Floetry! Thought I would share, so I will leave you with these. Until next time, holla at ya girl!
2. Warning! Warning! Eating a whole bunch of sunflower seeds will make your tongue numb. Trust me I speak from experience. Please see the pic the the right, no good I tell you people. I am doing my civic duty and warning you so that what has happened to me does not happen to any of you. Its not a good feeling. Its not my fault though, those damned things are addictive!
3. Do I appear to be missing any meals? I think not! Than why do the people at work always feel the need to force you to take leftover wraps, sandwiches, chips, sodas or cookies every time there are leftovers from some big wigs meeting. What part of I don't need 2 lunches today don't you understand people. I am a big girl, there is nothing about me that should be screaming, "Damn I look hungry!"
4. Why am I so tired? Its not like I got up off my lazy ass and went to the gym this morning or anything!
5. Why isn't it time to go home yet? Do you ever have one of those days where you have a list of stuff you need to accomplish, but you don't feel like doing any of it? Welcome to my day good people!
6. Lazy Sanitation Department! So I went to my parents house on Sunday to water their plants because they were out of town. I pull up to their house and in the middle of the street right in front of their driveway is a dead huge nasty ass lookin' raccoon. His face was all nasty and smashed in. Why did I submit a request to the sanitation department to have it picked up and got a notice back that my request will be completed within 10 days. WTF! Do you know what happens to a dead animal over 10 days! I have to pick up my parents tonight from the airport, as I pull up their driveway I will just announce to them "WELCOME HOME!"
7. What's wrong with my child? So last night my 2-year old was apparently pissed off at me for not cooking dinner fast enough, how about this little nut decided that out of anger it was a good idea to bite her own damn finger! She comes to me crying, I am trying to figure out what is wrong with her trying to calm her down and she's waving her finger at me. My oldest walks in to tell me that her sister had bit herself on the finger. I asked her if that's what happened, she screams, "YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!" I proceeded to ask her why she did it, she stopped crying a bit and her face had a rather confused look on it when she then said, "I don't know." Got up and walked away! Only my children!
8. What did he ever do to you? So my co-worker was telling me yesterday about how her roommate caught a mouse that they had in their condo on one of those sticky safe traps. She was home alone and heard this loud high pitched yelping noise and couldn't figure out for the life of her what the noise was. She went in the kitchen and what did she find but a mouse trapped on the sticky pad. (Background on this chick, she is one of those overly sensitive, be kind to animal types.) So she couldn't figure out what to do and how to get the mouse off of this pad. So she called her mom, by now completely sobbing out of pity for the mouse on the phone to her mom, to ask her what to do. Her mom calmly told her that the smartest thing to do since she couldn't seem to get the mouse off would be to put him out of his misery. Well she said she didn't want the mouse to suffer, so she didn't just put it in the garbage and let it starve to death and die. She wanted it to have a quick and "painless" death. So what did she do. She took the mouse on the sticky pad and placed it in the middle of the street. Then she proceeded to get in her car, tears streaming down her face and roll over the mouse repeatedly. Apparently this was better than just whacking the shit out of it with a broom! I couldn't help myself but to bust out laughing. This is why when we get field mice from our backyard, my plan, kill that mutha fucker, he knew better than to be all up in my house in the first place. If he wanted to live he should have kept his butt outside.
9. Why did I voluntarily babysit an almost 6-month old baby last night? I have said repeatedly that I don't like other people's kids. I guess I was doing my good deed for the day, or week, or year, or hell for my life! L's brat sitting service is now closed for business!
10. Why do I have to go to Connecticut for business next week? Why can't I go somewhere interesting? Darn it! Figures send me to CT! Anyone know any good restaurants or stuff I might be able to do on my free night in CT. Anyone out that way? Holla at me!
Whew! I feel so much better I just had to get that stuff off of my chest today! So last week I was so excited to make it back to Summerfest, well yeah how about that didn't happen. Long story, but oh well. Either way, my friend, Shelvey, still followed through with good pics of Anthony Hamilton and Floetry! Thought I would share, so I will leave you with these. Until next time, holla at ya girl!
5 Comments:
I tried to enforce a bedtime for myself last year. It was 1:30 AM. I guess my body didnt get the message cuz im still up to 4 almost everyday.
You might want to search the coworkers desk for signs of being a serial killer. That was just some over the top mess right there. LOL
Biting her own finger I guess she figured you'd feel guilty that she did it LOL
I remember walking into my apt and finding a mouse on a sticky pain squeking and what not I chucked his tail over the balcony....I wouldn't have dared touched him, then took him outside and run over him ewww LOL...and now she got mouse guts in her tires.
girl your co worker was tripping..Im with T Cas heifer might be an undercover psycho..damn if she do that to a mouse imagine what she'll do to u if u had a paper cut...
kids are strange, my nephew like to run into the wall and when we ask him why he's like "I 'on know"...*sigh*
okay...um...i don't know if i would've killed the rat or mouse...but i would've put in a trashbag and threw the damn bag in a dumpster...if i survives...then whatever as long as it's out of my house...i can agree with you about the seeds...i agree with u about kids...my 2yr old would do something crazy like that...then a few seconds would be okay....kids...that are weird...
Really? Sunflower seeds? Interesting.
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