Phat to Fabulous!

This is an account of an instant message between a friend and I that took place just moments ago. We would like your thoughts on this issue, its very important to every one of us and it needs to be addressed...

ME: so in the cafeteria i picked up some ketchup, the packages say ‘fancy ketchup’ what makes it fancy? like are the tomatoes prettier.
Stewart: it's not fancy. that's all a big lie
ME: if this really was fancy wouldn't regular ketchup feel left out, like why can't it be fancy
Stewart: they're just poisoning your mind with their evil tricks of manipulation
Me: and what about this catsup guy, what's he really all about? is that even made out of tomatoes?
Stewart: i think it's similar to penis envy. the packets know that half the time they'll get thrown out or put under someone’s tire... they just wish they could be in the big bottle instead, which is truly the fancier of the two.
ME: or stashed in a drawer
Stewart: right
ME: until 4 years later someone comes by to say do you have any ketchup/catsup
Stewart: claiming that they're fancy is their only way of feeling better
ME: at which time you dig it out of your drawer and look t it with a questioning eye not really knowing how long it has been there, but not wanting to reveal your wonder to the seeker of things that are tomatoes-like
Stewart: exactly. fancy my ass. it's all a big charade.
ME: a c-o-n-spiracy, by the way i am posting this rant as a blog today
Stewart: awesome! someone needs to speak out against these tomato-based-bastards!
ME: it’s a serious epidemic! for anonymity purposes i am naming you stewart
Stewart: right - no one will figure that out good thing - i'd hate to leave work today and find my car covered in ketchup

Fancy...really?

This conversation on my part may have been a side effect from my medication as it turns out I spent my wonderful weekend with strep throat. Stewart really has no excuse, however in his/her defense this is not the first conversation we have had like this and in those instances I was not medicated at all, other than my own natural high. I now return you all to your regularly scheduled days...carry on.

~L~