Phat to Fabulous!

24 July 2006

Surviving more madness...

I say to y'all all the time that I couldn't make up some of the stuff that happens to me even if I tried. So last week was my trip for work out to Connecticut for training. Now I left on Tuesday to head to the east my brother, to the east. (Sorry I had to for all the old school XClan fans) I got to work Tuesday morning with plans to work for 4 hours, and then go home and work for the afternoon so I could get things situated, make sure last minute things were packed, etc. I got to work that morning, and went to check my phone after about an hour or so and black screen! WTF!!! How about my damn phone was on the fitz. Wouldn't power on, wouldn't ring, nothing! Now I tried to call the husband, because I usually let him deal with anything that has to do with our cell phones, since that's the business he is in. Now I will spare you the details, but my husband works for Cingular, but my phone is a Sprint. So I tried to call him before I left work, but no answer, he must have been busy with customers. I head out of work on time, right about 12:15pm. Happy that I was leaving on time, but stressing that I was about to leave out of town and I have a cell phone that is not working. Not only did that mean no contact, but it also meant no nothing, since I have a Treo my life is in that phone.

So I get home and log on to do some more work and I send a text message to the husband about the phone, he tells me to call one of his friends who still works for Sprint. Ummmm yeah how can I do that I have no phone? (and we axed the house phone a long time ago.) So he goes back and forth and finally tells me to go to his friends store all the way out in one of the suburbs so that he can swap out my phone for me. Ummm, that's great but its 2pm, I am not done packing and I have to get there and to the airport before 5pm. I put everything into NoS turbo boost and got out the house and headed to his friends store. How about 2 blocks from the store I look down and my phone is powering up. WTF!!! So I got to the store anyway, he takes a look at the phone and takes the battery off and puts it back on and it fitzes again, sucks because he can't transfer any of my info, but good because at least I don't look crazy since it did the same thing to him. He swaps out the phone I am good to go head to the airport and make it there right at 5pm. Perfect timing!

I get there get on my flight, no problems. I had to fly through O'Hare that went smoothly. I get my flight out to White Plains, NY, get in the air and on our way. We are in the air and its about 15 mins before when we are scheduled to land. We are looking into the distance and thinking wow those look like some bad storms out that way as we see lightening flashing through the sky in the distance. At that point the pilot comes on the speak and say, "Well ladies and gentleman, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that there are pretty bad weather conditions in the White Plains area, there are standing waters, and tornado warnings. The good news is we are Albany, NY. Right now we aren't sure what the plan of action will be we may refuel and wait out the storm, we may bus you in or we may have to wait it out over night. We will keep you posted as we learn more." WTF!!!! It's 11:45pm at night! So we land and they keep us on the plane, about 2 hours later they decide we are going to go ahead and fly into White Plains as the storms have passed. By the time we finally landed in White Plains it was almost 2am. By the time I made it and got checked into the hotel it was 3:15am!

The next two days I had training it was a great class, I met some great people, I will spare you the details. Thursday, was the day finally time to get back home. Turned out we got out of training a little early, so I went ahead and got on the road to the airport, trying to call ahead to see if there might be an earlier flight I could make it on. I call United get put on hold and disconnected. Call again, and wait on hold...again...and finally get someone on the line. By now I am about 5 minutes from the airport, looking for some place to put gas in the rental car. She tells me that there is a flight scheduled to leave out in 30 mins. Well that's not going to happen. So then she says one moment and comes back to the line to tell me that my flight which was scheduled for 7:45pm was showing that it was going to be 2 hours late. Which would put me into O'Hare too late to make my connecting flight to MKE. I was so annoyed at that point. I tried to weigh my options but get to the point where I am like oh well what can I do. I figure I will call for a car service to pick me up from O'Hare to get me back to Milwaukee. I decide I am going to head to the mall and grab some dinner since I have time to kill. Then I remembered that the dumb rental car had to be back at the airport by 7pm. So I headed back to the airport to return the car and go ahead and check in for my flight. I get there and begin to another O'Hare bound passenger who says that there was a 2:34pm flight that was scheduled to go to O'Hare that never left but that is now scheduled to leave at 7:45pm, my original flight time. I get up to the agent, who checks me in for my scheduled flight that now isn't supposed to leave until 9:46 and puts me on standby for the 2:34pm flight which is now supposed to leave at 7:45pm. The time comes and I get on the 7:45pm flight. Thank goodness. Home free, right?

Not exactly. We land in Chicago at 9:05pm. My flight home was scheduled to leave at 10:15pm with boarding to start at 9:55pm. As we land the flight attendant lists the connecting flights with gates and of course my flight is leaving from a gate on the other side of the airport that is about a 20 minute walk. There is a shuttle that I could take, however according to the flight attendant it stops running at 9:30pm. So what that means is we get stuck in the penalty box for 22 minutes and of course I will miss the shuttle, all because our gate isn't open. I get off the plane prepared to book it. I walk past where the shuttle is and its still open. The lady says that they kept it running late, because of the bad weather, they knew that they would have people needing the shuttle. Great! I get on the shuttle get to the concourse I need to be in find my gate and of course it has already been switched. Figures! I find the new gate and there are apparently 4 flights leavin out of the same gate within 4 minutes of one another, obviously impossible, but only at O'Hare would they even pretend like it could happen. so 10:15pm changed on the sign behind the desk to 10:24 which was soon 10:47! We finally get on the plane, but we don't take off until almost 11:30. All of this shit for a 15 minute flight. We finally land in Milwaukee, I am so exhausted and ready to be home. I get off the plane, make my way out to the parking structure, get to my car and how about I left the fucking dome light on in my car and the battery's dead! That night could not have ended any other way!

I am exhausted from even recapping this. Its past my bed time so I am outta here y'all. Until next time...holla at ya girl!

Oh I don't want to forget to mention, I am on two more blogs so check me out if you have time. A group of bloggers has started a weight loss blog so check out "Shake Dat Ass Folk!" So check that one out when you get a chance. Also, my friend Rodney and I have a new blog called "I See Stupid People." I am sure you can't figure out what the blog is about. If you can't, we might just be talking about you! hahah!

Night y'all!
posted by Elle Jefe at 7/24/2006 09:53:00 PM 7 comments

17 July 2006

Why you wanna go and do that now huh?

What's up my people's? Ya girl has been very, very busy lately and I have a bit to catch y'all up on.

Just can't leave well enough alone?
So after the last time Vargas got his ass wooped, please see horrific photos here, you would have thought that he had enough sense to leave "Sugar" Shane Mosley alone. But nooooooo! He had to go flapping his jaw for a rematch. And in turn "Sugar" Shane had to put it on his ass and lay him out in 6 rounds. Hey Vargas, I will say it again! Shut up and take your ass whooping like a real man this time!

Milwaukee Venom now 4-0!
So Saturday, your girl was just a little busy. I had the girls here at the house most of the day, but the evening I just was running like a wild woman. The husband had his 4th game and the Venom had its 4th win! That win should keep the Venom in first place in the IFL's National Conference going into game 5 in Fond du Lac against the Crusaders. We'll see Saturday afternoon if the Venom can keep their unvarnished record.

Aren't I just a social butterfly?
So after the game Saturday night, I had to hit the birthday circuit. The family and I finally made it home from the game by about 9:45pm and I had scarfed down my food changed clothes and buzzed back out the door. I called myself trying to make it an early night, but that was nothing close to what happened. By the time I made it down to Lucille's Piano Bar, to meet up with everyone for Sue's birthday it was close to 10:30pm. It was hot as hell in there since it was still 90 degrees outside and this place apparently had no a/c and everyone with the group I was meeting was ready to head out. I went with them across the street to Cafe Vecchio's and had a Flirtini mingled for a bit and then decided to make my way to the next evenings event.

After leaving Sue and the gang I headed North to my girl Liz's house. She recently moved in with her man and was having a get together to show off the new crib and to celebrate her birthday. I get there and the parking on the street in front of her house is completely all taken. So I have to circle the block and come around and park on the side of the house. I am thinking to myself as I walk towards Liz's that at the end of the night someone will definitely need to walk me back to my car, because I am not walking back over here by myself. So I make my way upstairs and as is usually the case with good friends, I am being asked to make drinks for people before I even put my purse down. I do my duties, in the heat (they had only like 2 window a/c units, damn I must love my friends) make the drinks and then make my way out to the balcony. Come up on Liz's sister who is outside chilling with one of her male friends, who just so happens to be a guy I went to school with. So we all caught up for a bit and I made my way back inside realizing I still had yet to make a drink for myself. Make myself a drink and go in to watch the spades game to plot my takeover! lol

So I am sitting there chilling watching the games, watching my friend talk hella shit, but that's what we do when we play spades. As I am sitting there, I have my arm resting on the back of the seat of this cat sitting at the other spades table. He leans back and bumps my arm and I apologize for being all up on his chair he says that's ok and starts trying to lean back more. Umm, no let me just move. So for the rest of the night I have to deal with what this man thought was game, all the while I was trying my hardest to make my wedding ring oh so visible. So I finally work my way into a game and the cards just weren't going the way of my and my partner. Finally everyone calls it a night. You know black folks, everyone makes their plates and we all make our way out. Its now 3:30am, and I say good night as I head towards my car figuring there are at least people outside so if something happens to me I can make enough noise for someone to notice. Just then no-game-brotha starts walking my way asking if he can walk me to the car. I don't turn down the offer since I really didn't want to walk to my car by myself. We get to my car, I turn to hop in say goodnight and this conversation occurs:

Him: So when can I talk to you again?
Me: (Being the honest sister I am, trying to figure out when we had talked in the first place all the while trying to flash my wedding rock!) Probably never!
Him: What if I give you my number?
Me: *laughing by now* I can guarantee you I won't use it
Him: Why is that?
Me: I am married.
Him: Are you happy?
Me: (Thinking WTF kind of question is that?) Yes, very!
Him: *handing me a piece of paper* Well here's my number if you ever get unhappy give me a holla.
Me: *laughing, rolling eyes and getting in the car* Umm, yeah ok, good night.

Now, I know enough guys read this. WTF! If I said I am married and I am laughing dead in your face, why oh why do you continue to try to flatter yourself just to get squashed. If I was going to miraculously become "unhappy" with my marriage would you think that I would call you. And if I would do that to my husband, why would you want to deal with my trifflin' ass. Please y'all know I am a straight up bitch right. I got in the car, turned up my T.I. drove off crumbled up that little piece of paper and threw it out the window. I ain't trying to take that mess home and start some shit with the husband over nothing. Please!

Then I am on my way home getting my jam on to the music enjoying the warm breeze windows down, sunroof open. All of a sudden I notice a faint honking noise, faint because my music was up that loud. I look over to see this dark shadow looking my way out an open window from the car next to me. I turn my music down just enough to hear him ask me, "Why are you driving so fast?" Mind you when we had taken off from the last light he had been keeping up with me, "I said why are you driving so fast?" He laughs, and says again, "Where you trying to get to so fast?" The light changed and as I drove off, I said, "Read the plates," and turned the window back up. Damn that felt good, I have been waiting for a moment like that. At least I know I still got it! hahahah!

Aiight y'all!
I need to hop off of here, I really should be packing for my work trip I leave tomorrow. I will try to blog while I am out there, it should be a little easier actually since I won't have to heat up spaghetti-o's, prevent potty accidents and do bath time. Until next time, holla at ya girl!
posted by Elle Jefe at 7/17/2006 07:31:00 PM 8 comments

11 July 2006

Random stuff I just need to get out!

1. I need a bedtime! Remember when you were 8 and had to go to bed at 8:30 and you used to be annoyed because you knew that the bad butt kids at school who's mama's went clubbing every Wednesday through Sunday could stay up as late as they wanted. Damn me for having a responsible mama! I have rediscovered the importance of a bed time. I can't for the life of me get my butt out of bed to get back to the gym in the morning. I have decided after the news it is my bedtime! I'll let y'all know how that works out.

2. Warning! Warning! Eating a whole bunch of sunflower seeds will make your tongue numb. Trust me I speak from experience. Please see the pic the the right, no good I tell you people. I am doing my civic duty and warning you so that what has happened to me does not happen to any of you. Its not a good feeling. Its not my fault though, those damned things are addictive!

3. Do I appear to be missing any meals? I think not! Than why do the people at work always feel the need to force you to take leftover wraps, sandwiches, chips, sodas or cookies every time there are leftovers from some big wigs meeting. What part of I don't need 2 lunches today don't you understand people. I am a big girl, there is nothing about me that should be screaming, "Damn I look hungry!"

4. Why am I so tired? Its not like I got up off my lazy ass and went to the gym this morning or anything!

5. Why isn't it time to go home yet? Do you ever have one of those days where you have a list of stuff you need to accomplish, but you don't feel like doing any of it? Welcome to my day good people!

6. Lazy Sanitation Department! So I went to my parents house on Sunday to water their plants because they were out of town. I pull up to their house and in the middle of the street right in front of their driveway is a dead huge nasty ass lookin' raccoon. His face was all nasty and smashed in. Why did I submit a request to the sanitation department to have it picked up and got a notice back that my request will be completed within 10 days. WTF! Do you know what happens to a dead animal over 10 days! I have to pick up my parents tonight from the airport, as I pull up their driveway I will just announce to them "WELCOME HOME!"

7. What's wrong with my child? So last night my 2-year old was apparently pissed off at me for not cooking dinner fast enough, how about this little nut decided that out of anger it was a good idea to bite her own damn finger! She comes to me crying, I am trying to figure out what is wrong with her trying to calm her down and she's waving her finger at me. My oldest walks in to tell me that her sister had bit herself on the finger. I asked her if that's what happened, she screams, "YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!" I proceeded to ask her why she did it, she stopped crying a bit and her face had a rather confused look on it when she then said, "I don't know." Got up and walked away! Only my children!

8. What did he ever do to you? So my co-worker was telling me yesterday about how her roommate caught a mouse that they had in their condo on one of those sticky safe traps. She was home alone and heard this loud high pitched yelping noise and couldn't figure out for the life of her what the noise was. She went in the kitchen and what did she find but a mouse trapped on the sticky pad. (Background on this chick, she is one of those overly sensitive, be kind to animal types.) So she couldn't figure out what to do and how to get the mouse off of this pad. So she called her mom, by now completely sobbing out of pity for the mouse on the phone to her mom, to ask her what to do. Her mom calmly told her that the smartest thing to do since she couldn't seem to get the mouse off would be to put him out of his misery. Well she said she didn't want the mouse to suffer, so she didn't just put it in the garbage and let it starve to death and die. She wanted it to have a quick and "painless" death. So what did she do. She took the mouse on the sticky pad and placed it in the middle of the street. Then she proceeded to get in her car, tears streaming down her face and roll over the mouse repeatedly. Apparently this was better than just whacking the shit out of it with a broom! I couldn't help myself but to bust out laughing. This is why when we get field mice from our backyard, my plan, kill that mutha fucker, he knew better than to be all up in my house in the first place. If he wanted to live he should have kept his butt outside.

9. Why did I voluntarily babysit an almost 6-month old baby last night? I have said repeatedly that I don't like other people's kids. I guess I was doing my good deed for the day, or week, or year, or hell for my life! L's brat sitting service is now closed for business!

10. Why do I have to go to Connecticut for business next week? Why can't I go somewhere interesting? Darn it! Figures send me to CT! Anyone know any good restaurants or stuff I might be able to do on my free night in CT. Anyone out that way? Holla at me!

Whew! I feel so much better I just had to get that stuff off of my chest today! So last week I was so excited to make it back to Summerfest, well yeah how about that didn't happen. Long story, but oh well. Either way, my friend, Shelvey, still followed through with good pics of Anthony Hamilton and Floetry! Thought I would share, so I will leave you with these. Until next time, holla at ya girl!

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posted by Elle Jefe at 7/11/2006 03:52:00 PM 8 comments

06 July 2006

I am now a lot dumber for having talked to you!

Y'all it is just one of those days! Folks wanna mess with me and I am just not digging it. Now out of the 5 people on our HR team, I am one of 2 in the office this week. My boss is on vacation, one person is transferring to a new job and another well I think she is somewhere picking her nose, I don't really know or care. However the other girl that's in the office with me this week and I have decided that next year they better tell all of their people to take vacation at the same time so that they aren't there to bug the shit out of us.

I had this one lady call me this morning, she was confused because when she entered her time off in the system that she forgot to enter 2 months ago, she didn't think it went through correctly. I asked her if she went back in to look at it and verify it. Silence...she acted like she had not a clue what I was talking about. Now this isn't a new employee and the system we use is not like operating a rocket or anything, it is a simple web-based system. If she wasn't sure if it went through all she had to do was go back in and click on the date. Apparently that was too difficult. I walked her through it she says she thinks it took, but that she didn't enter the other 2 dates, I told her she can go back in and add them. Hell you waited 2 months, I think the system can handle you making a change on the same day. So she hangs up. Not even 10 minutes later, my phone rings again. I can tell by the caller ID it is her calling back, I reluctantly answer the phone. She says, "I went back into the system to look and it shows those days, but it shows 'absence'?" I am thinking, yeah ok, what's the problem? She says, again, "Well it says 'absence'?" I realize then that her issue is with the word 'absence'. I say well if you weren't in the office that is by definition an absence, what did you indicate when you entered the 'absence'? Did you indicate that it was vacation, personal illness or personal business? I could hear the sound of the wheels in her brain struggling to turn. I finally walk her through clicking on the date where it pulls up the 'absence' where it shows what type of 'absence' it was. Oh lord when I got done with that woman, I was certain I had lost a few thousand brain cells. I mean damn if I wanted to lose brain cells I could go back to my college days of chiefin'...being friends with buddha...crumblin'herb...hell you get what I am saying. At least back then it was by choice!

I think after having to deal with her, I should get extra credit points and be able to get out of here early. What do you think? I am heading back to Summerfest tonight. Its kind of crazy usually it is hard to find a decent act with a R&B/hip-hop flavor on one night, but this year has been different. There have been a few days of decent urban artists. On this past Monday the largest stage (you have to pay for those tickets in addition to entrance to the festival) had Mary J. Blige and Ne-Yo. Friends of mine attended that show and said it was hot. Tonight we are going to see Anthony Hamilton at one of the free stages, at another stage Floetry is performing. and at another Digital Underground! Tomorrow I know Chris Brown is performing out there and Milwaukee's own Cincere. The Summerfest organizers this year are trying to get plenty of brownie points, considering previous years there has been so much disappointment over the lack of R&B and hip-hop artists. They really stepped their game up this year. Opening for Anthony Hamilton tonight is the group of a friend of mine, a local Milwaukee group, Growing Nation. Think Arrested Development mixed with A Tribe Called Quest mixed with Herby Hancock. I have seen them perform before and they put on a pretty good show. It should be a good show tonight. I will try to take some pics if I can, otherwise I think my friend Shelvey will be there again with his camera and I will try to get some pics posted for you when I can.

Aiight let me pretend to do some work for this next little hour so I can get the heck out of dodge. Until next time....holla at ya girl!

Pic of the day...
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posted by Elle Jefe at 7/06/2006 02:06:00 PM 6 comments

05 July 2006

Faithful to the end!

Hola everyone! I trust everyone had a happy and safe 4th of July Weekend. I definitely enjoyed my extended weekend. Today is my first day in the office, so it is now time to play catch up in the blog world and in the office. However, I felt it was only right to take care of my blog peeps first!

The last time I blogged was last Thursday and I was excited about going to the first night of Summerfest! And boy I was it a night. That night was off the chain. We headed down to Summerfest about 6:30pm, after getting the kids situated with the babysitter and getting changed it was time for the ladies to hit the road. We made our trek down to the lake front, battled the treacherous traffic and parking and got to the Harley-Davidson stage just in time to catch the Rusty Ps getting Funk'd Up! I was a little annoyed that it took that long to get in to the park and traffic, because by the time we made it to the stage they were already a song or so into their only 30 minutes set! It was murder trying to get into the park, because not only was it the first night, but there was great weather and apparently there was a power outage that had the park in the dark for a few hours earlier that evening. So apparently everyone had heard that the outage had ended and was trying to get down to park to enjoy the evening. After the Ps left the stage, these kind of new age white cats took the stage. They were doing a kind of experimental jazz type thing blended with old hip-hop. The sound was cool, a little too new age for me though. But it fit the mood with the true hip-hop heads in the place. After they got off the stage, a comedian took the stage, not really sure who he was he said he was going to be in an upcoming movie with Mike Epps. So when I figure out who that cat was I will let you know. He was aiight, he had everybody rolling talking about the different "hats" of hip hop past, pulling out different hats and repping different artists. It was kind of funny. DJ Devest8 came and rocked the 1s and 2s. Then Milwaukee's own Black Elephant took the stage. Now I had heard about the group, but had not yet had the opportunity to see them perform. They ripped it up, but they had a pretty short set. I am sure the audience wouldn't have minded them staying on stage a bit longer, however they will be back at Summerfest before it ends, I believe opening up for either Floetry or Anthony Hamilton this Thursday. After they left the stage, Milwaukee's other hometown boy Rico Love came out to do the damn thing. It was a great mix of a lot of Milwaukee artists at their finest. Le'Che Martin (of Diddy's Making the Band Season 2??) was on background vocals for him. Le'Che has her own album out and from the tracks I have heard it is pretty good. After Rico left the stage, a guy I had never heard of out of ATL hit the stage, Cofa Boy. Ummmm, ATL could have kept him. He had straight beats and the crowd stayed moving, but he didn't fit the vibe of the night. There were a lot of true hip-hop heads in the audience. This guy was move of a gangster/snap type of something or another. I wasn't feeling him. I think other people in the audience would have even taken to him better had he at least been a hometown artist, since that was kind of the theme for the evening. I personally would have preferred a few more tracks from the Ps, Black Elephant or Rico myself. But whatever Summerfest is trying to do better. It was years ago you couldn't get any hip-hop or rap music at any of the stages. Especially not as the nights headliners. So whatever, since it was opening night, Cofa Boy got cut short since the annual Big Bang fireworks show had to take place. Fireworks show was nice and a way to get the crowd ready for what was about to come. That boy from the city of wind Com-Sense! The show was great. Everyone was on their feet (my feet were on fire by the end of the night and I was wearing flat flip flops!) and the true fans were hanging onto every word, from Be to The Light to The Food to Faithful to straight freestylin! He pulled out tracks old and new and reminded all of us how much we loved the lyricist. And for the ladies it couldn't hurt at all that that man is gorgeous! Whooo, almost had a sistah passed out! Anywho, I will stop going on and share some pics from the show. The pics of Common were taken by Shelvey a friend of mine from MySpace that just so happened to be sitting right next to us, that was crazy. Enjoy!
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This Zoo is a zoo!
So for some God unknown reason, my friend Holly and I, decided to take the kids to the zoo this past Sunday. (Yes, that is Holly of running in the tornado fame.) Holly is in town from Texas and we figured we needed to get the kids together while they were here. Well not thinking that the zoo might be kind of crazy the Sunday before the 4th, we decided to take the kids Sunday late morning early afternoon, before the girls and I needed to head to the husband's football game. So I get up get the kiddie's ready, give the husband a few evil looks for sleeping in and not partaking in this plethora of family fun and push on out the door. We arrive to the entrance to the zoo to only be met by a line that stretched back for blocks. How about it took us about 30 minutes just to get into the parking lot. Once we got into the parking lot we were lead down the death march past what is normally the far away parking to a patch of grass next to the freeway to park. No one happened to let me know that the Sunday before the 4th of July the Milwaukee County Zoo hosts a event for veterans, military personnel and their families. Needless to say it was ri-damn-diculous up in that place. The battle for strollers was something else, and the houses for the indoor animals were crowded beyond belief. By the time we left the zoo we were exhausted just from dealing with all the people. But as is usually the case, the kids had fun so that's what mattered. Plus, they got to see each other which doesn't happen often considering Holly and her family moved to Texas, so its all about the churins!

Another 'W' under the belt!
So the husband had another game this past Sunday. The Milwaukee Venom took on the West Allis Predators and have upped their record to 2-0, so far this season. With a 28-7 win, the Venom is looking better and better each week. This Saturday, they take on the Lake Country Cyclones at an away game in Arrowhead.

I can't eat anymore BBQ...
So Monday and Tuesday this week were filled too much food and alcohol. I couldn't even tell you how many mojijtos I made on Monday. But damn they were good. Last night I took the girls to see the fireworks, and I must say that daggone hatch back comes in handy. We didn't have a blanket so we just went to the car and sat in the trunk with the top up. It worked out well for all of us.

Aiight y'all I need to get back to work. My boss is out of the office, so I am trying to get a little catch up done, while it is semi-quiet. Until next time, catch up and check out my ridiculous CA adventure if you haven't done so already. I'll try to hit y'all back tomorrow.

Holla at ya girl!

Today's pic:
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posted by Elle Jefe at 7/05/2006 10:19:00 AM 6 comments