Phat to Fabulous!

25 April 2006

76 to 47 in 0.2 seconds!

So that's pretty much what happened here in Milwaukee. Yesterday when I left work it was a nice warm 76 degrees out. I had my music blasting windows down, sunroof open shades on. Today I need the shades, but I also need a coat. WTF! Why did I wake up this morning to 37 degrees! What? Mother Nature is really fucking with me right now and I don't appreciate it. My poor baby came in my room this morning wanting to know if she could wear sandals to school today, I was like child its cold outside you need a coat. She looked at me as if to question is summer gone already! Poor thing! Mother Nature is messing with our emotions and I don't appreciate it!

Thanks for all you do!
So today I am sitting at my desk and I get a delivery, a cookie bouquet to be exact. This thing has 8 big sugar or butter cookies with frosting! Am I suppose to eat this whole thing by myself. Its from my team saying thanks for all I do. I am very appreciative, but why do I need 8 big cookies? I don't need one small cookie, have they seen my ass? Just wondering!

Celebrity sightings!
Now I know Milwaukee wouldn't be considered the fashion capital of the world or anything, but these people are tripping. On my way into the office this morning I saw an old white lady with a bad peroxide blond she-mullett wearing one of those Prince looking ruffled shirts like she just got kicked out of the Revolution. I am going to need her to stop. I get not even two steps past her and I see this black lady with her hair all over her head looking like she was in search of a relaxer. This woman could have been Macy Gray's twin. She had big teeth, she looked a little slow....ok well she looked a lot slow, and her hair looked a hot ass mess! I tried to say goodbye and I choked, I went to walk away and I damn near stumbled all the way to my desk. I tried to hide it but, well hell you get the point! I know she had to have seen my facial expression when I saw her head. I have never been good at disguising those much I think I get it from my mama. You know how many times chicks walked away from my bar back in the day, because they would walk up to my bar looking broke off and I couldn't help it, my face would say it all. They would just walk to one of the guys bars. That was aiight though...them bitches didn't tip anyway! Keep stepping. What was I talking about again?

"Cuban Perfect Ass Hoes!"
To the person who found my site by doing a Yahoo! search for "Cuban Perfect Ass Hoes." Sorry to disappoint you I am not Cuban, nor am I a hoe, but I hope you got a good laugh on your visit! Seriously, though, what exactly were you trying to find? How did you come up with that combination of words to try to find what you were looking for? And did you ever find it? Hmmmm, one can only wonder I suppose.

The Diva's been through some thangs!
So today I was on one of my daily blogs and was reading a post from the BklynDiva. I have yet to be able to go back and really peak at her archives, but after reading today's post I am both inspired and terrified. After reading it, I promptly went into my computer and pulled up the one pic of me I hate the most and printed it up. I posted it up in my cube here at work and I plan to do so in my cabinet at home and in my refrigerator. I am determined to push on and not lose my momentum! Thanks for the inspiration Diva!

Aiight fam, its time for me to be out of here, must go collect the chidjins! Until next time, holla at ya girl!

Today's Quote:
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."
~Fran Lebowitz
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/25/2006 04:17:00 PM 13 comments

24 April 2006

The Brats are back!

So where did my week go? My kids were gone for a week, I had this huge list of "to-do's" that I wanted to get done while they were gone. Clean the house, mop all the floors, do laundry, pull up the carpet in Jordan's room, blah, freaking blah, freaking blah. Out of that list I was able to accomplish cleaning...uh yeah no, ummm, but I did pull up the....oh wait no I didn't do that either, but I know that I did get a chance to do all the lau....aaah hell I didn't do shit while they were gone! That's 7 days I will never get back, oh well, I got some relaxing in, kind of, well hell no I didn't do that either. All of my friends kept calling me saying, "Hell you don't have kids this week, let's....." Needless to say, I think the husband and I were busier than we are when the kids are here! Oh well, we had fun! That's what matters right?

Let's go in The Garage!
So Friday the husband and I had a busy schedule, I thought I would get out of work early, well that didn't happen. We ended up going to a birthday party for a friend of mine I went to high school with. The party was at the Garage. It was pretty cool, lots of people, decent music and a bar, hell that's all I need for a good time! Now, I will say I love going to the east side of Milwaukee to shop, however going out is a pain in the ass! There is absolutely no where to park, ever! I think we must have drove around for 30 mins just looking for a parking space, I ended up parking on a street that resembled an alley that you would see in one of those horror movies where a man with a chainsaw jumps out tries to cut you up and serve you for dinner to his mother and 3 snakes, 13 dogs, 8 cats, 3 hamsters and 1 rat. You know what I mean. Fortunately, I was with the husband, so at least he would run and get help if I were to get attacked....I know my husband, he doesn't like crime and he's no idiot, you have a gun, I don't, no need for discussion, run!! Chuck better be happy I like him, because if I only kind of liked you I would have went home, all that damn time riding around the blocks looking for parking. Once we found a spot and got inside it was nice though. I saw some people from high school I haven't seen in years. Some good and some eh I could care know what I mean. But we had fun and the bartenders poured my Hennessey and cranberry and it was not Cranberry and a sip of Henn! My kind of spot!

Saturday emergency!
So it was Saturday morning, no ballet lessons, no one screaming for breakfast...nothing to do, but to sleep in. Well maybe not, how about the phone rang at 9:15, mind you I was laying the bed awake, trying to convince myself I should take advantage of this last morning of freedom and go back to sleep. It was my dad, stepdad actually, who never ever ever calls. Well, he had just gotten pretty sick, my mom was at her biweekly mani/pedi appt and my little brother had to be at a music lesson. He asked if I would take him ok, no problem, what time does he have to be there, well ummm 9:30, ok well no time for the 3 S's let me throw on some pants I will be right over. So I have one leg in my pants, and the husband says I was going to go to the gym, but I don't have any gas, well you better get up and get your stuff on, where my brother had his lesson was right around the corner from the gym, no point in two trips. He whined and groaned a bit and finally got up and got some clothes on and we were at my parents' house in 12 minutes. I get there, my brother is waiting at the door ready to go looking less awake than Chris and I, he slowly walks out to the door as though it isn't 3 minutes to his rehearsal practice that it will take me at least 15 minutes to get to. My dad proceeds to walk out of the house to tell me about how he thinks that he is having a bout with food poisoning and as usual he is just about to give a few details too many, when I start backing out to the driveway saying alright we will see you later I should get him there. Eeeeeeewww! Why do old people always feel the need to do that, share with you info on the color, consistency, smell and everything else, I don't want to know that shit about my shit, I sure don't want to know that shit about your shit! Anywho, got the brother to the gym, got to the gym got my workout on , got some errands ran and got home. Did some cleaning up and guess who decided to get home? My babies! Looking like trouble and more trouble! I really did miss my babies. Oh well back to the grind!

The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful, cleaning and laundry and all the stuff I wanted to do while the girls were gone. I never even got dressed yesterday I found myself making dinner still wearing my pajamas. I made a good Chicken Jambalaya ummmm, umm, um! I don't normally like a lot of pre-made and boxed meals, but I was walking down the aisle where they have Hamburger Helper and stuff and I found a new Chicken Helper, Chicken Jambalaya. Out of intrigue I picked it up. I made it and was pleasantly surprised. To top it off, it was under 300 calories a serving even with the chicken, I think. Not bad, eh?

How the hell did that happen?
So I was on MySpace the other day and saw a comment from a friend from High School and it actually hit me, its been 10 years since I graduated, that means one of those reunions! Ugh! I really wouldn't normally even care about going to my reunion except one of my best friends/sister was the class president, so I pretty much won't have much of a choice. Uh damn, one more reason to get on those damned crunches I suppose. Last week was shitty for my eating, this week I am back at trying to be good. Plus I am poor, that tends to help keep me away from the bad stuff. No money to buy it with, no temptation! Damn maybe I should always be poor, I would lose this weight in no time! :)

Well its past my bed time, let me get off of here. I'll holla at you good people tomorrow, or today I suppose...whatever you know what I mean. Holla at ya girl!

Today's Quote:
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
~Joe E. Lewis
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/24/2006 10:34:00 PM 9 comments

21 April 2006

Lots to talk about!

So let's get down to the business. This week has been nuts, all of the things that were on my to do list for life with no kids for a week, is still on my list. I didn't get not ne'er one thing done! Ain't that about a blip! Anywhos that's ok, because me and the husband got to go out to eat without having to cut up anyone else's food, and got to hit a movie that had no animated characters, and got to ride in the whip with the windows down and music blaring with the cuss words! So now what! Anyway, I thought I would hit you up with a few updates first, so here we go...

Operation Get Terri a Man!
Well good people we almost had to cancel the operations. The same day I did the post. T was at home chillin' on the front porch when her next door neighbor stopped to profess his undying love for her. We thought we might be in luck, he has all his own teeth, no baby mama drama and his hair is not longer than hers. However, his teeth may still be coming out and growing back as they are his baby teeth, he doesn't have baby mama drama, but his mama might start some drama and he doesn't have a car from this millennium, a huffy maybe, but most def not a car. The child is 13! Apparently, Terri being the nice friendly lady that she is apparently has expressed too much interest in this child by saying hi to him and asking how's school. So much to the point that he deemed it necessary to tell her that he had a crush on her and that he would treat her right! WTF! Terri if we haven't found you a man in 8 years or so then I will let you consider it, you can be in one of those older woman younger man things, but only once he is old enough to drink and all other options have been drained.

Don't fret though good people, T and I did make it to what I think will be our new spot. Texture, the Old Fly Bar, in Milwaukee here on the south side. Thursday is their latin night, they do dance lessons from 8 to 10 and then play salsa, merengue, bachata, reggaeton and hip hop the rest of the night. Seems like they have decent music on the other nights too. I will definitely report back, that may be a place we have some luck finding T a man at!

What the hell!
So I have unfortunately been slacking on my eating lately, party with the kids being out town and the holidays and just a combination of a lot of things. Needless to say I need to get back on the ball with the eating, I have been holding steady luckily and not gaining, but I need to get back to losing! But now here's the strangest thing, even though I am not losing weight I am still losing inches, which I know and understand. But how about I put on one of my favorite pair of capris this morning and these things have been trying to fall off my butt all day!

***sidenote: So for the past week, we have had this guy on our floor in the building, I call him the cell phone bandit. Everyday he can be found hovering near my cube, talking, rather loudly I might add, on his cell phone. Well the bandit has struck again, he was just here again. He always sounds to be on work related calls, so my first question is why not tell that person to call you at your desk if you get bad reception in the building. WTF! Why are you standing by my desk. Actually, he usually makes his way over here numerous times a day, today its already 2:30 and this is the first I have seen or heard of him. I suppose this is what I get for telling someone it was too quiet at our new office.***

Back to the subject...I mean there are other things that I could complain about I am sure, and I should really be happy, but when you are losing weight doesn't it suck that your old phat clothes don't fit any more but the new fabulous clothes you want don't fit yet. So does that mean that as I lose weight I have to continue to by these new little less phat wardrobes all along the way. Darn it that sucks! I guess I need to invest in some belts.

No Lowrider for me!
So I am a little disappointed, but the husband and I have decided against driving to Indy for the Lowrider Magazine Car Show. First, most of the people we were going to go with aren't going, including the president of his car club chapter. Second, his car isn't going to be done in time, its still being worked on. Third, gas prices are fucking ridiculous! So if anyone else out there in Blogland makes it I hope they post pics so I can drool over them!

What sucks even more is that with us not leaving to head to Indy, that means that our time without children is shortened. They are supposed to get back tomorrow and we were initially supposed to be gone so they were going to hang with grandma and titi until we made it back. Now that we aren't going anywhere, that means the kiddies will be back at the crib tomorrow. Don't get me wrong I will love seeing my babies again, but that means I can only play footloose and fancy free for a short while longer! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!

Am I am Under-Achieving Parent?
So there are many times that I am so proud to boast that my 5 year old has been in Ballet and Tap for 3 years and speaks German, or that my 2 year old can count to 10 and sing her abc's and Don't Cha by the Pussycat Dolls (don't ask). But was I suppose to enroll them for classes at the Wisconsin Conservatory of Music and no one told me? WTF! Go here and you will see what I am talking about.

Preparation is underway!
So time has come for the annual bday cookout. One of my husband's friends and I share the same birthday although he is considerably older than my young self, but for the past couple of years we have a cookout at his crib and do it grown folks style. Throw some stuff on the grill, get some dranky drank, turn up some music clear, out the living room furniture, you know straight up house party! Well once again its on. Need to start putting my shopping list together now, next Saturday is the big day and that's not far away!
Aiight folks, I need to get out of here, I have to handle my clubbing for my final night of freedom, so I need to get some work done so I can get out of here on time today. If you are in Milwaukee, check out that party at Questions. I posted the flyer earlier today. I might have to roll through there for a minute. Until next know what to do, holla at ya girl!

Today's Quote:
My goal is to weigh what my drivers license says!
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/21/2006 12:52:00 PM 10 comments

Gotta Plug my peoples...

Click on the flyer for more info.
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/21/2006 10:09:00 AM 2 comments

20 April 2006

And another one...

So I know I have been MIA lately, I have been dealing with a lot of stuff at work and the kids being gone has had me running more than normal. I hope to be back to my regular posting by tomorrow. However, the other day I was reading my guy, T.Bear's, page in between mess at work and apparently now you can get tagged just by looking at the page! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! Anyway, I am a good sport, so here it goes...

I present to you 10 Years ago (I barely remember what I wore yesterday, so bare with me!)

Ten years ago, it was spring 1996. Take this survey, post the results, and see how many things have changed since then.

Q1) How old were you? 17

Q2) What grade were you in? 12th

Q3) Where did you go to school? Nicolet High School (and yes I still know the school song!)

Q4) Where did you work? Walgreens

Q5) Where did you live? Milwaukee, WI

Q6) How was your hairstyle? T-boz looking bob with the one long peice on the side

Q7) Did you wear braces? nope

Q8) Did you wear contacts? yup

Q9) Did you wear glasses? yup

Q10) Who was your best friend(S)? Her, her and oh her, but I don't talk to her ass no more!

Q11) Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend? Which one?

Q12) Who was your celebrity crush? I don't remember

Q13) Who was your regular-person crush? ah hell you're kidding right!

Q14) Were you a virgin? what's your definition of virgin?

Q15) How many piercings did you have? 6

Q16) How many tattoos did you have? none then

Q17) What was your favorite band/singer? Wu Tang!

Q18) Had you smoked a cigarette yet? enough to give someone else lung cancer!

Q19) Had you gotten drunk or high yet? I plead the 5th

Q20) Had you driven yet? yes

Q21) If so which car? Brown Subaru

Q22) Which of your pets from then are still alive? none

Q23) Looking back, are you what you thought you would be in 2006? No where close

Tag.... Your IT!!!! I'm going to be like T.Bear on this one, you read it, YOU'RE IT!

posted by Elle Jefe at 4/20/2006 11:05:00 PM 2 comments

18 April 2006

Am I being irrational?

So you know I do my best to try to support minority businesses, but DO NOT FUCK WITH MY CAR! I have proven on many occasions how much I love my car! So trying to support the minority business owners, I took my car to get my windows tinted at the local, car wash/rim shop/auto repair/chicken and fish restaurant/barber shop. I got my windows tinted and they were fine. The guy told me that there was a lifetime warranty on the tint, that's why I figured well I will get it done, but if I don't like it I will be their worst nightmare. Well weeks went by I noticed that there were a few bubbles in the tint, ok well that needs to get fixed, and then I noticed that there were streaks in the windows on the back driver-side window. Then all hell was about to break loose when it was cold as hell out and I went to go through a drive through or something rolled my window down and the fucking tint peeled right up with the damn window. WTF! So now I am pissed right, but I needed to find time when I could go back up there and get the tint fixed and either get a ride back home since it is over the hill from my house or have enough time to sit there for an hour. So no kids this week, I scheduled my well-needed oil change and I figured I may as well call and check and see when they can get me in to fix the tint. This fool tells me, "Well the gaskets in the door could have been frozen if it was cold, I won't charge you for the tint, but I would have to charge you for the labor which would be like $15-20." HOLD THE FUCK UP! How the hell am I supposed to know when the gaskets inside of my door are frozen? And doesn't life time warranty mean I don't have to pay for it, labor or parts its not my fucking problem. I have had tint on every car I have owned and never ever have I had my tint peel no matter how fucking cold it got. So me trying to be a cool calm and collected sister, mostly not wanting to show my ass because I am calling from my desk at work in the cubicle farm, just politely thank him and hang up. I call the husband and tell him and he's like I wouldn't even fuck with them anymore let's just take your car somewhere else. Now I don't want to have to pay to have my tint completely re-done, but I also don't want those ignorant asses doing my tint and fucking it up again! Plus, I am not sure that if I go up there and show my ass that I would really want to take my car up there and have them fuck up something else on my car. I think I am just going to take this tint off myself, and ride tint-less for a minute, I can't stand driving around with this broke tint. Plus, I am not trying to take my car with its broke ass tint to car shows. Then I think I am going to take my car to the other folks and get it done right the first time. Screw this supporting the struggle! Struggle my ass!
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/18/2006 01:53:00 PM 15 comments

*singing* I just don't know what to do with myself!

So the weekend is passed the husband and I shipped off the kiddies with their grandma and titi and we have the whole house to ourselves. The weekend was good nothing really special. I never made it to the gym on Friday, I needed to get home and get the girls situated and packed, plus I wanted to braid up Jordan's hair so that no one would have to do her hair for the week. Braiding hair at our house is always a battle! She is so tenderheaded and just a drama queen in general, plus she has yet to figure out that in the battle between her versus me and the comb and brush, I will always win. So just chill out and let me get this done and over with. I did more laundry this past weekend trying to get clothes and stuff clean for the girls then I think my washer and dryer have seen for some time. My king sized bed was stacked with clothes, that I still have yet to put away. Saturday was spent getting everything thrown in the suitcase for them, running to my mom's to pick up their Easter baskets and running to Target to pick up stuff that they needed. By the time I looked up it was 4:30 and time to get them to my sister-in-law's house. I got them situated and chilled out at my mom's house for a bit, because the husband was still at work. No point in sitting at home by myself. He came in we got some food and one of his friends stopped by they played x-box and I watched tv and hopped on the computer to do some work for a bit. At one point, I had the urge to tell him to turn the damn surround sound on the tv down, he was going to wake up the kids, and then I remembered, WHAT KIDS? They're gone!

Easter Sunday came, weather was mild and sunny and we realized we didn't have the normal holiday rat race going from this house to that. We decided not to attend the local church fashion show, I mean Easter Service. Now usually the whole family goes out to a fancy smancy restaurant for Easter dinner, because when my one aunty passed away, my other aunt and my mom decided that they would only cook for Christmas and Thanksgiving. So for Easter we usually go out to eat. Well my aunt is a little special and she and my mom have a rather on again off again relationship, she is my mother's sister-in-law. Anyways, moms called my aunt to see what we were doing for Easter a few weeks back and she was like oh well I figured we would just all do our own thing with our own families, I was just going to cook something for us. Ummm, ok why would you assume that when we never do that! Whatever! So my mom and I went back and forth for a while about well, what do you want to do? I don't know what do you want to do? Needless to say we never made reservations anywhere and my mom just decided to put on a turkey breast at her house, works for me, I's po' anyways! On top of this, the husband's mom and sister were gone with the girls, and his dad wasn't doing anything, because his wife (the husband's parent's are divorced) was out of town as well. I welcomed the lack of celebratory events for the Easter holiday. I woke up at like 9 and did some stuff around the house, told the hubby to get up and get dressed so we could make a run before we had to be to my mom's between 3:30 and 4. So we got up, got out and hit the movies and went to see "ATL." It was actually a pretty good movie, plus I will take an hour and forty minutes of looking at T.I.'s fine self any day. We got out of the movie at 3:20 and headed to mom's house, and made it there right at like 3:40. My mom was surprised, we never get anywhere on time, we sat and had a relaxing dinner, no drama, it was great! We went home and pretty much did nothing after dinner, except to get ready to get back at the grind for Monday.

Monday came and went and I thought I would get a chance to do a post and no suck luck. I was busy with stuff here at work and I was trying to escape early so that I could try to get to the gym, bank and home to shower before the Bucks game last night. By he time I left work, I didn't have time to make it to the gym. I did have time to get home change clothes and get to the carwash to wash my car in one of those do-it-yourself stalls and vacuum her out really nice. The things that vacuum picked up! Whew child, it was crazy when I took that car seat out of there. But I went to pick up the husband from work, so we could take one car downtown to get to the Bucks game. Its great to be able to do these things without having to beg for a babysitter! My boss's boss had the corporate box so we went and enjoyed the Bucks beating the Pistons. Not that that really meant anything since they are both already in the playoffs, but it was still nice, especially since there were way too many Pistons fans in the place last night. I will say that watching the game from the suite is bad on the hips. You get there they have a nice spread of chips and fruit and nuts. Then for food-food they had hot wings and hot dogs. And when I finished I thought that was it, then my boss's boss looks at me and goes let's go desserts here, the catering people go around to the suites wheeling around this cart with all kinds of different layered cakes and cheesecakes and cookies and homemade ice cream. Evil bitches! You know I ate some though. I had no willpower, I haven't had ice cream in forever! I had a chocolate chip cookie with vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup on top. I know that's bad, but just think I could have had the snicker cheesecake! And I did check before making a selection to see if they had anything low-fat or sugar free, which they didn't, but I should at least get extra credit for asking right?

My friends are nuts!
With the kids being gone, do you know how many voicemail messages I have gotten since Saturday from my friends, mainly Amaya and Kye, and everytime I don't get a chance to answer my phones these heiffas leave a message talking about I know you are getting your grown folk on! Y'all have issues! We have been married 5 years this June, and been together 9 years total. We don't do the grown folk no more! Well we do, but I wasn't when y'all called heiffas!

Operation Get Terri A Man!
So I don't normally put my girls on blast like this, ok, well I do kind of, but this is for a good cause. I am feeling an urge to do something philanthropic to assist a charitable cause that will help to better my community and the lives of the people around me. My friend, Terri, is of the belief that she will be single for the rest of her life, because she can't seem to come across not one decent man. She thinks that they might be extinct. So I am on a mission to find her a decent man. If you or someone your know is interested in my friend, please contact me by clicking here or leave a message in the comment section. Terri is a nice girl, she is an equal opportunity employer (she likes men of all flavors), she likes long walks in the park (ok well I am not sure about this, but it always sounds good) and kickin' it with the girls. You must have all of your own teeth, preferably no grillz, you must have limited baby mama drama, preferably none, you must have a job, you must have your own place (no renting the basement from your mama does not count), you must have your own car (preferably one from this millennium), you cannot have hair longer than hers (mullets need not apply), you must be able to keep beat at the club (this white girl can get her groove on) and you must be presentable enough to eat dinner with in public (ugly men need not apply). Please note that all applications are subject to approval, by me and if you are denied approval, trust you will be put on blast!

Back to the grind!
So I need to get back to work, so that I can get out of here today to actually get to the gym. I feel like a slacker now that I see how motivated T. Bear is being. Let me get off of here and be productive for a change. I'll talk to y'all later, until then....holla at ya girl!

Today's Quote:
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
~Carol Leifer
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/18/2006 09:30:00 AM 7 comments

16 April 2006

You may have noticed...

...there has been a slight change to my sidebar. The missing poster for Quadrevion and Purvis has been removed as the bodies of the 2 boys were found on Friday evening. Please keep their families in your prayers on this Easter Sunday. If you would like to read more details about the end of this almost moth long search, click here.
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/16/2006 10:42:00 AM 4 comments

14 April 2006

And then there was 1!

So here I sit in the office on Good Friday and I can tell you one thing for sure, it would be a better Friday if I wasn't here at all! How about this isn't a holiday for our company, but it is like a ghost town here and apparently everyone requested off, except me. FIGURES! Anywho all of them being gone, means one thing...more time for me to play! whoooo hoooo!

Yahoo! Group
If anyone is interested Caroline Jhingory started a group on The group shares nutrition information, successes and struggles. If you are interested in joining the group, click the button below.
Click here to join I_Lost_110lbs
Click to join I_Lost_110lbs

Too much spare time
So considering I am sitting at my desk gazing out the window at the beautiful mid-70 degree whether, wondering why in the hell I am in there, I have time to search for information online. I came across this article that I think I will share. I clicked the link as soon as I saw the title of the article, "8 reasons why you may not be losing any more weight." The author outlines the 8 reasons that you may no longer be losing weight as follows:
  1. Drinking too much alcohol or pop
  2. Too little exercise or less effective routines
  3. A reduced metabolism
  4. Skipping meals too often
  5. Eating too much sugar and salt
  6. Not drinking enough water
  7. Incorrect portion sizes
  8. Unrealistic Goals

Now a lot of this is pretty self explanatory, however sometimes we forget about a lot of the little things and if 1 or even more of these begins to become an issue, we are just making matters worse. One of my biggest struggles is skipping meals. Its hard there are weeks when I work 50-60 hours, plus go to the gym, plus deal with the family and kids. There are days I have gotten in bed and realized, wait, I fed the kids and forgot to feed myself. WTF! I have been trying and really need to try harder to stick to a schedule of sorts. Try to prepare and take with me each day 4 or 5 little meals, with healthy snacks for work. Smaller more frequent meals help to speed up your metabolism, faster metabolism means an easier time dropping those pounds. Here are a few snacks I have found that are easy on the hips:

Nabisco 100 Calorie Packs - These are pretty good, especially the Oreos. They are like little cookie chips. The Oreos are like thin wafers of the chocolate cookie, but they really taste the same, just no filling to lick out the middle. The Chips Ahoy are not that bad either. I have been warned by a friend to steer clear of the Ritz cracker 100 calorie packs. The good thing about these little packs is there is no thinking to it when it comes to figuring out how many calories you took in. They're 100 Calories!

Orville Redenbacher's SmartPop - I love popcorn, I could eat popcorn all day. The good thing about the OR SmartPop is you don't have to feel guilty about eating the whole bag. Lord knows I have eaten the whole bag plenty of times. Each bag has 2 servings at 110 calories each. That means the whole bag of popcorn is only 220 calories. That is less than the calories in a half a King sized bag of M&Ms. I know trust me! Plus SmartPop comes in regular, butter and kettle corn flavors, so you can change up and add a little variety every once in a while.

Baby Carrots and light/fat-free dressing - I love carrots, one vegetable I don't mind eating. The good thing about using carrots as a snack as is that they aren't bad when it comes to calories. You can have 15 medium sized raw baby carrots for under 60 calories, to give it a little kick add your favorite light/fat-free salad dressing. I like the peppercorn ranch or house italian. Gives me something crunchy to munch on when I am working at my desk all day long without the guilt of chips or vending machine crap!

Strawberries - Maybe my mother eating buckets and buckets of strawberries when she was pregnant with me has something to do with it, but strawberries are my absolute favorite fruit. You can have a cup of whole strawberries for under 45 calories. You are lucky if you get a batch that are already pretty sweet, depending on the time of year. If you get a batch that aren't that sweet try adding a little Splenda too it. I like to cut them up in the morning and put them in a plastic bag and let the soak in the Splenda until lunch, then they have a light syrup. YUM! The good thing about the Splenda is that it is a zero calorie sweetener, which means if you have another 45 calories to spare, why not have another cup of strawberries!

Those are just a few things I like to try to cut the cravings. Speaking of which, I need to go to the grocery store, I am running low on every single one of these! What do you use to stifle your sweet tooth?

The silence is deafening

There is no one here but me now, I haven't seen another human being for some hours. I think I am going to cut out of here. I have some stuff I could start on, but I don't want to do that when I get off in 20 minutes anyway. I will take care of that over the weekend, or on Monday, no big deal, its nothing urgent. I hope everyone has a Happy and Safe Easter, I'll be back at the grind on Monday, until then....Holla at ya girl!

posted by Elle Jefe at 4/14/2006 02:30:00 PM 2 comments

12 April 2006

Have some manners, please!

So you know we all have our little pet peeves, those things that we can't stand when others do. Then there are our little rules, certain things in general other should just know better than to do. Well recently, it has been made blatantly clear that some people need to be reminded of some etiquette issues that they are unfortunately forgetting. Today boys and girls, I would like to talk about bathroom etiquette. A fellow blogger did this post for the guys on the Tuck Rule a few months back. Recently, I have just had some unfortunate experiences that I think we need to get taken care of. Today, I received this email from my girl Kim in NC:

Y'all, if I can stop laughing, I will tell you about what just happened in the
bathroom. I was in there whatever, whatever, and this chick is in one the
stalls blowing it UP! All of a sudden I hear, "I'm sorry whoever's out there, my
stomach is tore UP!" I couldn't figure that one out by myself? I'm sorry,
I'm not going to talk to people while I'm doing my thang, if ya know what I
Now, some time back I did a post called "Don't Talk to Strangers." Apparently people don't realize that there are rules that flow over to fall under the category of potty etiquette as well. Like, if there are 12 stalls and only one person in the whole bathroom, you don't go into the stall right next to them, how rude! There's also the rule that once the stall closes and locks, all conversations must cease. I do not want to have to increase my speaking volume to talk over the sound of your pee. Water is not a miracle worker, when you come out of the bathroom, use some damn soap. Water alone will not do the trick. Are there any other bathroom rules you can think of? I am sure I could think of more, but I just had to get that off of my chest.

Would you like some twinkies with your animal crackers?
I would just like to share that on my way into work this morning, I watched as two grown men lugged in food for what appeared to be some sort of food day celebration/potluck type of affair. The thing that they appeared to have the most of appeared to be a healthy supply of twinkies and animal crackers? Who in the hell brings twinkies and animal crackers to a potluck? Nevermind that had to be a single man's doing!

AIDS is real!
Read this blog from another blogger's site. I am sure you will be as appalled as I was! People still just don't get it!

Taking it back to the old school!
So I bought drove off the road this morning listening to the fools on Kiss-FM, when all of a sudden I hear, "oooh boy I love you so, nevah-evah-evah gone let you go, once I get my hands on yooouuuu!" These fools took it back and played the Candyman! Oh wow!

Another day another dollar...
I made it to the gym last night and worked the hell outta myself! My legs were soar this morning when I got up. Apparently I know how to kick my own ass when I am at the gym without any of my friends. The husband actually went with me for the first time in months, which was nice that I could actually go home and have a conversation with him, without him turning around and heading out the door before I even get a chance to close it. The only bad thing is since he went to the gym with me, there was no one waiting at home for us to get there with dinner ready. DAMN! I knew there was a flaw to this plan!

Apparently they expect me to do work around here?
I don't know what their problem is, do they really think I come here to work. I come here to have internet access to be able to talk to my blog fam all day long. duh! Isn't that what they pay me for? The nerve of these folk to think I actually come here to work. Well, I suppose since I must, let me get my but back to work, I have a lot of stuff to get done for real. You know the deal folks, holla at ya girl!

Today's Quote:
Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/12/2006 02:14:00 PM 9 comments

11 April 2006

Gold Diggers in Training!

DISCLAIMER: I would just like to give everyone the disclaimer about this post. I am a sarcastic person, if you cannot find the sense of humor in many of my posts than I suggest you go to the local hospital to see if you can't pick up a spare funny bone. If you feel very sensitive about the topics I am discussing, get over yourself. If you are that darn touchy there must have been some truth to it!

With that said, back to the subject at hand. I got a phone call from my "sister" last night. No, I don't have any biological sisters, but we have been around each other for forever and she has eaten more food at my parents house than I have, so she is my sister. She was very distraught, a friend of hers called and brought to her attention that for years we have all been hoodwinked and bamboozled by our parents to believe that the way to the life that we want to live is through hard work and studying. This friend of my sister's called her after having taken a private jet on a weekend trip with her boyfriend and a few of his just a little wealthy friends. All of their girlfriends were tiny, smaller than the friend, who might be a size 2 on a bloated day. They spent the whole weekend shopping at stores where one shoe costs more than my monthly salary. And this lead her to thinking, why did we bust our butts in college, if this is the reward these women got for watching their wastelines instead of cultivating their minds and watching their debt grow with college loans. Apparently, our yellow brick road took a bad detour on the way to Oz and Toto, I don't like it one bit. Apparently, all the video hoes and gold diggers and ballers wives had the right plan all along. WTF! How could we have been so blind for so long? From this day forward, here's where the disclaimer comes into play, I vow to not teach my daughters to use their brains to try to outwit the man. They will not try to fatten their pockets by stimulating their minds. Oh NO! They will shake it like a salt shaker and make that money. Cause *singing* I ain't saying that they gotta be a gold digger, but I be damned if my babies will be messing with no broke bro'! I just had to share! Class for 2 year olds who still need to learn to walk in stilletos will be held in the Bishops Hall after the 11 am service on Sunday!

Thanks to Caroline Jhingory!
Back in February, I wrote a blog and in it I made reference to Caroline Jhingory who was a student at Fisk University that was profiled in the March issue of Essence Magazine. Turns out Caroline fell across my page and just so happened to read that post and left a comment on my blog. I commented back not knowing if she would see it or not, letting her know if she had any tips that she could share to shoot me an email. Well, today, she did just that. Today, I received 2 emails from Caroline with links to her own personal blog, a Q&A that was done on her from Blackplanet and various other articles. I have yet to get a chance to really take a look at all of the information, however know that as I get through the information I have received I will definitely share it with you. Caroline lost 110 lbs without surgery, using healthy eating habits exercise and determination. She is definitely proof to me that it is possible. If you would like to check out her blog, click here.

Did anyone else hear?
Proof from D12 died. Check out the story here.

I love my little brother!
So yesterday in my many stops after the gym, I had to go past my mom's house. I see my little brother who's 15, and he says, hey [insert real name here] are you loosing weight, cause it looks like it! I knew I loved that kid for a reason!

Since everyone loved the recipe yesterday so much I thought I would share another!
So I am a self-proclaimed chocaholic. The hardest thing for me about eating healthy or following a new diet it the loss of chocolate intake. I can't handle that. This is a recipe I picked up off of for a healthy Chocolate Chip Cookie! Thought I would share.

Today's Quote:
There are four basic food groups, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles.
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/11/2006 01:28:00 PM 12 comments

10 April 2006

If I repeat "I don't hate him", will I believe it?

Good Monday morning to everyone. I am trying to be positive about the day, on my way into work it was already almost 50 degrees outside and it is supposed to be in the mid-60s today and the rest of the week, plus the sun is shining. I know 50s and 60s isn't that warm, but hell this is Wisconsin so give me my one moment of excitement. I am at work, trying to get through emails from the weekend, because these people don't know how to work over the weekends. Dirty BAAASTAHDS! However, through all the positive vibes I am trying to dish out, my husband is testing me today. I get an email from him this morning from work that says:

Morning, So I decided that I should probably start putting some good weight back on for football and when I say good I mean muscle, but darn it I can’t gain. I weighed myself this morning 208lbs and I ate an entire Papa John’s pizza on Friday and Saturday (I ate bad this weekend), what’s up with that.

Oh no he didn't! WTF! Is he serious? Has he lost his fucking mind? Does he have a death wish? How was this a good idea? To send an email to your wife about how you can't gain weight when you know she is busting her ass trying to lose weight! I love my husband, I love my husband! I won't even start complaining about him and this football thing. I am being the supportive wife, fortunately I like sports, otherwise I am the bitch that would be like you want to do what? Oh HELL TO DA NAW! I will try to be good and not smack him over the head, but seriously, this man! I say often, if I didn't love my husband, I would hate. Thank goodness I love him so much! I responded and said: Are you expecting sympathy from me here? Just want to know my duties as a wife!

*singing* Back in the day when I was young I'm not a kid anymore...
I just thought I would share. Back when before kids, I was always the heaviest of all my friends and that always made me feel like I was fat. But you know I was going through some old pictures and I wish I was there again. I have come to the conclusion, I was really not all the big, I had some skinny ass friends, but I was pretty average size. I could shop at the Gap and Express and all the other mainstream stores and the only real problem was whether or not all the baggage I was carrying up top would fit in that shirt or not. I wonder if having a bunch of skinny friends might not have helped to allow me to gain weight and not really think about it. I always had a poor self image so when I started getting bigger I was already just used to being the big girl in the group? Oh to reminisce! *rapping* I reminisce for a spell, or shall I say think back, 22
years ago to keep it on track, The birth of a child on the 8th of october, A
toast but my granddaddy came sober....
Oh let me stop, y'all don't know
nothing 'bout that!.

Recipe - Baked Chicken Parmesan
So I will tell everyone that I am by no means a Betty Crocker, but this is a recipe that came from my mom when she was on Weight Watchers. Its easy and pretty tasty, so I thought I would share.

Servings: 2
Prep Time: 40 minutes

2 egg whites
1/3 cup
Italian-seasoned breadcrumbs
1 Tsp paprika
4 Tbsp reduced-fat Parmesan cheese, grated, divided
2 portions chicken breast (about 1/2 lb)
2 portions spinach pasta (about 4 oz uncooked)
1 cup low-fat pasta sauce
2 cups baby spinach leaves

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
2. In a medium mixing bowl, beat egg white with fork until slightly frothy. Then, mix breadcrumbs, paprika and 2 tablespoons of reduced-fat Parmesan cheese in a pie plate.
3. Dip chicken breasts in egg whites and then into the breadcrumb mixture, coating both sides.
4. Lightly coat a baking sheet with cooking spray. Place chicken breasts on the baking sheet; bake for approximately 12 more minutes, until chicken is no longer pink in the center
and coating is golden brown.
5. White the chicken is baking; prepare spinach pasta according to its directions.
6. In a a small saucepan, warm pasta sauce over medium heat.
7. Divide spinach leaves between two separate plates. Layer portions of warm spinach pasta and baked chicken breasts over spinach leaves. Top with pasta sauce and remaining Parmesan cheese.

Serve and enjoy.

Back in the game
So I took the weekend off from the gym, as I usually do. Although, I think I burned some calories getting worked up over the fight Saturday night. But today is Monday time to get back in the game. Wish me luck! Time to go get some work done. Holla at ya girl, I'm out!

Today's Quote:
If it wasn't for my superior willpower, I might be exercising right now!
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/10/2006 10:31:00 AM 12 comments

09 April 2006

I just can't help myself!


I just get so pumped when I see a good fight. Did anyone else see the Mayweather vs. Judah fight? Mayweather was trying to get me a little worried there in the beginning, but "Pretty Boy" Floyd prevailed with a unanimous decision to defeat Zab Judah's ass! Damn I am mad I didn't put money on this fight! The only downside to the fight really was that Santa Claus suit Floyd was wearing, WTF! I will forgive him, only because that boy is just damn fine! The highlight of the fight was when Judah realized things weren't looking good for him, he decided to try to get at Floyd with a direct shot to the cup, followed up with a smack to the back of the head. This of course caused the corners for each of the opponents to get to actin' a fool and go to blows in the ring. Actually, it looked like the fight between Floyd's uncle, Rog, and Zab's daddy, Yoel, would have been pretty good had the security, police and officials let it play out. Oh well, I guess we will never know. Now I just have to be patient until de la Hoya fights Mayorga, May 6th!


I am going to try to go to sleep, however I am not sure I can do it. I am too pumped! Holla at ya girl!

posted by Elle Jefe at 4/09/2006 12:36:00 AM 0 comments

07 April 2006

Another week down!

So its Friday night, I have been to the gym every day since Monday and do I feel any different? Not really, is there any miraculous difference since last week, of course not. You know its really hard when I get on the scale and it says that I am down 24 pounds since I started on this journey and I don't see anything difference. I know, I know its harder to see the change in yourself and I know 24 pounds is a long way off from where I need to be in the end. But still, this shit annoys the hell out of me. Even more traumatizing, is the fact that countdown clock over there to your right has dropped below the 4 month mark between now and my Caribana trip! Like Curtis Mayfield once said, *singing* I got to keep on pushing!

Another day at the grind!
So its 9:45 pm, I have been to work, been to get kids, been to the gym, come home and made dinner, and now I have finally stopped moving. I realize each day how much shit I do and it just never stops. Although, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Next Saturday, my girls are off to Junction City, LA, to visit their great-grandmother on my husband's side! No kids for the husband and I for a whole week. WHOOOOO HOOOOOO! We won't know what to do with ourselves. Granted we will still be working, I have big plans. I want to try to make it to go see ATL, maybe go roller skating, and then get some cleaning done. I know the last one really isn't that exciting, but you don't know how wonderful it will be to get it done without a bunch of little people coming right behind you just fuck it up all over again! Plus, the Friday before they come back the husband and I will be heading down to Indianapolis for the Lowrider Magazine Car Show at the Indianapolis Statefair Grounds! Last year this show was huge, it took us 8 hours just to get checked in with my husband's car club. I am excited, though! This is a nice show, because even though it is a Lowrider car show, there are usually a decent amount of imports there are just different things you don't see everywhere. This year David Banner is performing, last year it was Trillville and Ying Yang Twins...well actually it was only Ying....or maybe it was Yang...hell I don't know which it was, but isn't there some Chinese proverb that says that its against the rules to have Ying without the Yang? I'm jus' sayin'! Of course with every car show there comes the fair share of naked hoes, but I think I have prepared myself for that as usual.

Something for you to check out...
So I came across this site and I thought I would share. It is a website called Every It seems very informative. It has a list of most of the diets you hear about out there and it goes through eat one. It tells you the essential points of each diet and the benefits and drawbacks of each one. It is actually pretty good. It is worth taking a peak, before you make any drastic decisions on changing you diet.

Fundraising Benefit to Aide Search Efforts In Finding Quadrevion Henning and Purvis Virginia Parker (This was taken directly from the V100 website)
Featuring Performances By... Jacob Latimore, Under5ive, Le’Che Martin and Cincere
At The Riverside Theater TOMORROW--April 8

V100.7 (WKKV-FM) invites Milwaukeeans to band together in a benefit to raise awareness and funding for the search efforts in locating missing Milwaukee boys Quadrevion Henning and Purvis Virginia Parker. The benefit will take place at The Riverside Theater Saturday, April 8 at 6 p.m.

The event will be hosted by V100.7’s Reggie Brown, Wolf D and Minister Melvin Hood. Featured performers include Jacob Latimore, Hip Hop and Christian Rapper Under5ive, R&B and Hip Hop Sensation Le’Che Martin and Milwaukee R&B Favorite Cincere.

Other performers include nationally acclaimed 20-month year old drummer Julian Pavone and Quinlin Bishop dedicating his beloved song “Come Home” to finding Quadrevion and Purvis.

Representatives from Wisconsin Clearing House for Missing and Exploited Children and Adults, a resource for both law enforcement and families in investigating cases involving missing and abducted children, will be on hand with literature and available to answer questions.

Tickets go on sale Wednesday, April 5 for $5.00 at the Riverside Theater Box Office and all Milwaukee Playmakers Sports Center locations (2230 N. Martin Luther King Dr, 5325 W Fond du Lac Ave. and 4625 W. North Ave).

100% of proceeds from ticket sales will be donated to The Henning Parker Reward Fund. Additional donations will be accepted at The Riverside Theater during the event.

More information on this event and ways you can assist in search efforts can be found at

Contact: Cecilia Hrobsky at (414) 286-3611,, orBailey Coleman at 414-944-5124,

Today's Quote:
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/07/2006 09:36:00 PM 0 comments

06 April 2006


So today has been interesting. I woke up this morning and I was on my way to hop in the shower when my phone rings. Its the nanny she's sick! Great! Fortunately, my boss and a few other folks on my team are out of the office today, so I am like oh well, no biggie I will just work from home. Working from home is trying to say the least when you have a 2 year old who is undecided as to whether she wants to watch freaking Barney - I HATE THAT DAMN DINOSAUR, the "Fuckas", Move It Move It (Madagascar) or Robots! It was so relieving that she finally went down for a nap! If she hadn't there was a chance I might have lost it for real! PRAY FOR ME PLEASE!

So as I sat here today I realized its April! When did that happen? It seems like just the other day it was a cold and snowy December day...what? Oh yeah this is Wisconsin it probably was snowing and cold outside, just kidding we had a heat wave it was 56 yesterday! But for real, how did it get to be 1/3 of the way through the year already. More importantly, this means my birthday is coming up! I am going to be twenty-*cough* I can do this...I am going to be twenty-*sneeze*....ok for real though, I am going to be on the 3rd anniversary of my 25th birthday! Time to plan the festivities! Friends, get your pockets right, I might not like the number, but I am always going to celebrate my "anniversary!" I am thinking we need to make this a whole weekend celebration? I will have to give this some thought. Ideas, anyone?

I am about to go wake up the little diva and go get the big diva so that we might be able to make it to the gym. The hubby has football practice tonight, so its just me and the girls! I will try to get another post up tonight. Until then...holla at ya girl!

Today's Quote:
Exercising. You will probably just break your ankle or twist your knee. You have to be in shape to get into shape - it's a no win situation, like so many others.
~ Jimmy Fallon
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/06/2006 03:48:00 PM 11 comments

05 April 2006

Tagged again!

So yet one of my blog buddies has struck! I have been tagged by ProfessorGQ. Thanks, Waddie! So here it goes!

If...Volume 2
If you were to be the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?
Pee standing up and write my name in the snow!

If you had to name the most difficult thing about being a teenager today, what would you say?
Drama, pressure and high expectations!

If you had to name the most embarrassing moment of your life, when was it?
Well which time? There was the time my freshman year in college, when I was walking, looking damn cute, into the Union for the BSU Ball, and I wiped out on the floor right in front of the door. I could do nothing, but lay there and laugh. The other time was when I, the drinking champion of the world, mixed just a few too many alcohols on one nights, ended up throwing up on my brand new Adidas, and numerous times on my way from UWM to Marquette, including once in front of a bunch of my friends who all happened to play for UWM at the time and once in front of my dorm. My friend walked me upstairs to dorm room, I decided to go to the bathroom, she was kind enough to make sure I made it there, however she didn't live in the dorm so she apparently figured I was safe enough there, so she left my drunk ass to fall asleep on the toilet. Some time later a RA came through to find me sleep in the bathroom, she escorted me back to my room and managed to plop me into my bed fully clothed still wearing my soiled Adidas! That was not a good night!

If you had to name the most overrated actor in Hollywood, who would it be?
Tom Cruise

If you had to name the one personality trait that you have tried the hardest to change in yourself, what would you say?

If you could go back for one minute to the Garden of Eden and give Adam advice, what would you say?
Go for the grapes!

If you were to name the best “I told you so” you ever got to deliver, what was it?
I only get to pick one? geez just kidding! After the last Felix Trinidad fight when I got to take the money for the suckers that wagered against the PR wonder and dance around singing SUCKERS!

If you were Madonna, what would you do for your next publicity stunt?
I would tell everyone I was shot nine times and start a feud with another member of G-Unit! Oh Wait, 50 cent's overrated ass already did that! Damn!

If you could have a lifetime 50 percent discount in any single store at your local mall, which store would it be in?

If you could have one more pet, what kind would you get, and what would you name it?
I already have a husband and two kids, I need no more pets in my life!

If you could have God perform one miracle today, what would you want it to be?please make all this hard work and exercise pay off!

If you could spend next New Year’s Eve doing anything, what would you do, and with whom?
Just like this past NYE, in my home, not out with the drunks, with some good Cuban food, all of our great friends, even those from out of town, and lots of mojitos for everyone!

If you were to set your country’s immigration policy, what would it be?
All illegal immigrants pay double sales tax....we may as well profit!

If you were given the power to settle the issue of gays in the military, what policy would you set?
I would out the entire Bush administration as idiots! Everyone forget that they ever cared that anyone was gay and we would all be happy, except Bush!

If you could have one person you have lost touch with call you up tonight and invite you to dinner, who would you want it to be?
If I lost touch with you, most likely I don't want to find that touch. My true friends, I just wish they would move closer so we could have dinner more often.

If you could change one thing about your love life, what would it be?
What love life, we have two kids, I would change the fact that ever since the thunderstorm the other night that the little one seems to think that her bed is only for naps.

If you could have prevented one book from ever having been written, which book would it be?
The Thesaurus, if you have a word, stick to it! Don't be all wishy washy and stuff, plus Thesaurus is just a really stupid sounding word, you couldn't have used you handy book to find a different word for that?

If you have to name the best music album ever recorded, which would you select?
I can't pick just one! There are so many! My life still rolls to the sound of "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" to this day though!

If you could have one thing made out of pure gold, what would you choose?
My MAC Cosmetics bag!

If God were to whisper one thing in your ear, what would you like Him to say?
Their all idiots, its not just you!

So I am now returning the favor of tagging the following bloggers:
Miss A
Kween of Klubs
Chocolate Boricua
Yours Truly
Teddy Bear
YES! It's not a joke...I really have 4 kids...
A mighty pox upon your entire village if you don't adhere to this tag! Just kidding, but it would be nice if you did post your responses and sent me a link to your post.
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/05/2006 09:14:00 PM 13 comments

Oprah reads my blog!

Ok well, no she doesn't, but that caught your attention didn't it? Seriously, why is everything these days validated by Oprah. I used to like Oprah and actually used to watch the show. She was my idol, I went to college for Broadcast Communications, I saw Oprah, this woman gets paid to talk! I can do that! Seriously, but over the years I have become more and more annoyed with her. I have a guy friend who refers to her as the cult leader! She says a book is great, the whole country goes to buy it. She says this diet works, everyone is trying to hop on it. Seriously, its scary almost makes you wonder if maybe her shoes are looped with subliminal messages. I wonder if that would work for my blog? TELL ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS TO VISIT PHAT TO FABULOUS TODAY! OK, maybe not, it was worth a try though! Seriously, though I was on a site today looking at the news, well kind of the news, Eminem and his hooker, I mean wife, are getting a divorce already, that's news! Duh! Anyway one of those ads popped up in the middle for the best weight loss/diet program in the world. Well it must be the best, it is by OPRAH'S fitness trainer. Doesn't that certify him as the best? Seriously, Bob is now the expert authority on weight loss and fitness, because he once told Oprah how many reps of crunches and push-ups to do. Seriously, I want to be that famous one day, where people are like she wipes her ass with this kind of toilet paper it must be the best!

Back on track!
I am happy to report that as of this morning I am down another 4 lbs, putting me at 24 lbs. lost since the start of my track just before January. I am pleased to have finally bust through the cursed plateau that I felt I was hitting. I suppose the key was just working through it and still continuing to push myself! Onward ho!

So I am about to get out of here!
Today was nuts again, I had another 1/2 day workout/meeting that took up most of my time. I have to get out of here on time today, though because I have my first salsa lesson. Whoo hoo, this should be fun! Holla at ya girl!

Today's Quote:
Dieting is wishful shrinking!
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/05/2006 03:27:00 PM 0 comments

04 April 2006

You don't think I am going to eat that do you?

So, today's post will be relatively short, since I spent a bit of time, playing along with my blog buddies in a game of tag and its way past my bedtime. I spent my entire day in a meeting, trying to stay awake and I found that meetings at our Corporate Training Center are more dangerous than I previously percieved! First, we already know that they have better tasting food in that cafeteria than in any other building the company has. Plus, when you walk the halls they are throughout the day replenished with snacks and beverages galore! Great just what my hips needed! Boredom, also, does not help matters, as I found myself, after about the 43rd slide on OFCCP Compliance (don't ask, save yourself), dozing off. I could feel my head and eyes getting heavier and heavier and I had to do something quick to bring me back in. All around the room there are these little candy dishes full with jolly ranchers and hershey's kisses. That's fine, they are small dishes, but when you have to eat darn near every candy in the dish to stay awake, you know this is not a good sign!

However, let me reel this in so you can understand the title of today's blog. After lunch...I tried to be good, stuck to the salad bar, mostly...I mentioned to the woman next to me that I had surpassed the sweets. She says, "Oh do you want some of this cookie." Um no, I think to myself, I don't know you like that. She says, "No, here really you can have half, I am not going to eat the whole thing anyways." I say, "No thank y..." and she plops half of a cookie on my plate with her bare freaking hands! WTF! Now I might be a big girl, but I am by no means starving. Even if I were starving what makes you think that I would want a cookie that you just put on my plate with your bare hands, that have been God knows where? Are you freaking crazy? Needless to say that cookie spent the rest of the afternoon in the same spot until I got a chance to throw it away on a break! People are a trip I tell you!

After the meeting...
I made it the gym for a well-deserved workout! YAY! Until next time, holla at your girl!

Today's Quote:
Dieting is the penalty for exceeding the feed limit.
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/04/2006 11:08:00 PM 6 comments

Tag you're it!

So I have been tagged not once, but twice in a 24 hour period! WTF! I think the Kween and Miss A plotted this whole thing out! I think this is like when you were a kid and you used to say I double dog dar you and the person better not bow down, for fear of being mocked by every kid on the block, in this case on the blog. So I have succumbed to the pressure and conformed and I will post my responses now...

To Miss A who wanted to know the 10 points of my perfect lover, well here ya go!
1. clean - don't come to me if your ass is stankin'
2. intelligent - if you can't spell your own name, don't come knockin' on my door
3. no baby's mama's - for obvious reasons, I am not trying to have to cut a bitch over you
4. no gold teeth - all teeth in said mouth must have been grown by said user, if not installed by said users dentist, not the man in the "Gold on the Road" truck rollin' down Fond du Lac Ave.
5. know who your daddy is - if your mama was a ho there is a good chance you are too, I don't want to sleep with you and learn your medical history at my next visit to the doctor!
6. documentation - I am going to need to see copies of you birth certificate (proving you are of age), your last pay check (you need to have a job) and your last AIDS test (everyone has to play it safe)
7. look at these pictures...have you slept with any of them? yes...well good bye! (can't be dealing with leftovers of my friends)
8. do you spend more time in front of the mirror than I do? you gots to go...can't have my man trying to be prettier than me, that's not cute.
9. do you get the head rest in my car dirty when you sit in the passenger's seat? no you gots to go, no jehri curls up in here for me! I love my car a lot more than I will ever think about liking you!
10. (and most importantly) hey aren't my husband, who the f...get out of here man you trying to get me in trouble!

To Kween of Klubs who wanted to know my crushes, here you go...
white men
george clooney
joaqin phoenix
justin timberlake

strictly dickly 'round these parts, so I don't have any responses to this one for ya'

black men
boris kodjoe
brian white
mekhi pfeifer
omar epps
larenz tate
oh husband, duh!

latin men
don omar
felix trinidad
amaury nolasco
jimmy smits

older men
pierce brosnan
harry belafonte

First Celebrity Crush Ever
cockroach on the Cosby Show

Crushes I'm Embarrased To Admit
joey from Blossom - WHOA!

Now I would return the favor by tagging a few folks out there right away, but I have a little something up my sleeve I will post in a day or to so that I can return the favor to Miss A and the Kween, so that they can't be exempt of my tag! Damn I'm smart!
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/04/2006 10:16:00 PM 4 comments

03 April 2006

Who thought this was a good idea?

So this morning I just couldn't bring myself to get out of the bed. This daylight savings thing kicks my ass every year! Yesterday, I took a nap with Kennedy which turned into a 3 hour long snooze. I thought that just maybe that would help me be good today, not so much. My alarm went off at 5:15 this morning and I hit that snooze button I don't know how many times. By the time I actually dragged my ass out of bed it was 6:35am! I should have been walking out of my house in ten minutes. I didn't really care too much though. The last time I was running really, really late, I called and left my boss a message and got to work and he saw me and was like 'hi!' I asked him if he had gotten my message, he was like oh no not yet, I was just thinking why did I bother! I have come to the same conclusion as Divine Oasis, who said: "i may do a call and no-show OR a no-call and late-show. never a no-call no-show." My employer always knows that if I am not at my desk in the actual office, I will soon be hopping online from wherever I may land that day, and he doesn't seem to mind at all.

What made getting out of the bed this morning that much more difficult? I remembered as I turned on the news this morning to check the weather, that today was opening day for the Brewers. That meant a few things, expect a few folks to call in "sick," don't expect to see any news on the news this morning, and stay away from Miller Park, because that's where all the drunk people will be this morning. There is no need in the world to offer people in Milwaukee, Beertown, U.S.A., a reason to begin drinking at 10am if not earlier! I was hoping there would be one good thing about the day though. Hopefully all of the drunk people that would be at the sold out Brewers-Pirates game would be too hungover by 5pm to come go to the gym! By the way the Brewers won.

I was right!
The drunk people did stay home and/or passed out at Miller Park, in either case, I don't really care, because the gym was not completely and totally packed like it has been the past few Mondays. Plus there was a bonus of the Daylight Savings Time, I was able to walk out of the gym tonight after a good workout, and there was still sunlight! Its a lot harder for people to try to steal you car when it is still light outside. The workout today was good, I got in 20 minutes on the bike, 20 minutes on the treadmill, and 160 crunches. I took off today from my weights since I took the weekend off, I need to ease my body back into the workout. I felt a good rush after hitting the gym today, came home got dinner on and now I am on here. I am thinking I am going to go iron my clothes for the morning in case I have another morning battle with the snooze button. I have an all day meeting tomorrow at our Corporate Training Center and I don't want to be late to that.

Site to Check Out!
While I was at the gym, I took a peak at the March 2006 VIBE magazine, which was delivered to my house some time ago, yet I had yet to have the chance to pop it open. While I have yet to hit the article, "The Way We Wore," which is a look at some of the mess we used to this was fashionable back in the day. Oh the horrors! I happened to come across "Body Rock" an article on actress A.J. Johnson (Inkwell, Baby Boy). I liked watching her on VH1's old show "Flab to Fab." The article was all about her personal fitness training business The AJ Zone. Check out the site, they do have the option for membership starting at $10.95 a month, it looks like it might have some pretty useful information and tips on it.

Until next time peeps! Holla at ya' girl!

Today's Quote:
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
posted by Elle Jefe at 4/03/2006 10:13:00 PM 5 comments